I received some really wonderful news a few weeks ago. My oldest childhood friend got engaged. Like me, she had been married before, but as is often the case, it just did not work out. All of a sudden, her Facebook page is plastered with happy pictures of the happy couple.
Wait just a minute; when did all of this happen?? That was the message I sent to her on FB. To which she replied, OMG, I just don’t even know. We met on Match.com, and it’s only been a few months, but everything is just so perfect, and my family thinks I am crazy to get involved so soon after my divorce, and he has been married too, and we actually lived near each other, and he is just wonderful, and we are engaged, but we do not have a date set, and we will wait a bit, but it is just so perfect I have never been so happy in my life. Have you ever tried Match?
Well, no I hadn’t, I thought to myself. I wished her the best, and told her that I wanted to meet him very soon. ( I honestly do wish them the best, because she is a wonderful friend who has had a difficult life. It truly would be amazing if this turns out as they plan.)
Maybe Match is where they hide all the men like that. The ones who are kind and ride white horses, and make ladies speak without pausing to take a breath! What do I have to lose, except 34.99/month for a 6 month membership, all charged at once?? ( Don’t quote me on price.) So, BFF, I know you are shaking your head by now… but yes, I joined. I am honestly tired of being alone, and really enjoy being a part of a couple. I am just recovering from the oddest relationship of my life (See Here), so I honestly thought that things could not get much worse.
So, out comes the debit card, and I tentatively make a large purchase with my hard-earned money. I carefully selected a few pictures. My hair was freshly done, and I crafted an honest, funny and socially inviting profile. I thought I was clever, and intelligent. Well, Not much to my surprise, and after several “winks and photo likes”, the first email that I received can be seen here
As you can see, I blurred out the name of the author of the prose. This “gentleman” is looking for women who are potentially 50 years old. He is looking for naughty fifty year old women. I thought about responding, and honestly, it was almost too tempting not to respond. But what to say? Yes, I was very naughty today! I had ice cream for lunch. Or yes, I was so naughty; when the phone rang at work, I let it go to voicemail. I was so naughty that I deserve a spanking. Instead, I did indeed respond with. ” Thank you for the offer, but this is not what I am looking for.”
So, much to my sadness, I decided that this is just not for me. I pulled down my pictures from the site and thus ended my dreams of the white horses and princes on Match.com. Many winks and silly emails, or requests for photos showing my body from head to toe to determine my date worthiness, left me feeling sadder than when I started. My naked profile stays there on Match until it’s expiration in early 2015, strangely enough, still receiving responses which shall remain unopened. For me, I think it is better to imagine what it would be like, then to leave myself open to experiences that are disappointments. Dreams don’t hurt, and they are far kinder than the reality often is.