I bought a new lipstick in that is supposed to be Julianne Moore’s nude shade, according to L’Oreal. So, of course, I want to be like Julianne Moore. I want to be able to have that nude make up look that lets people think that I awoke to look that lovely. Come hither stare, messy, sexy naturally hi lighted hair and plump full “kiss me” lips. No make up, just naturally sexy.
There was simply nothing else to think about, I HAD TO HAVE IT. So, as my pulse accelerated, I purchased the life changing lipstick.
I have worn it just about every day since the purchase. Initially, I waited for someone to notice, and when no one did, I was consumed with the idea that it was so natural, that no one would want to comment on the overwhelming changes that had come over me. ( I know, this doesn’t really make much sense.) There was no substantial response to the change in my appearance, and this actually surprised me quite a bit, because my typical lipstick is much more like this… browner and somehow more like my own lip shade than my new adventurous color… my new adventure in nudity.
I have worn this shade for years… I buy it, and wear it down, then replace the same color. It has been this way over an over, to the point where I panic if the slot for my color is ever empty. I fear that the company will discontinue it, and I will be left with naked lips, or truly naked, unlike my new naked. My confidence when I walk out of the house has been wrapped up in this color for years. I keep a spare for emergencies. I guess I did not look all that different, but I did feel different.
My new purchase of about $10 has made feel me a bit nervous. My budgetary considerations are in the forefront of my mind, and I battle to be resistant to the ever-present challenge of successful marketing. BUY ME, BE LIKE ME, GET MY LIFE, SPEND MORE TO SAVE MORE. There is no end to the challenges that stalk me in my inbox. But that lipstick was more than a frivolous purchase for me. It was a challenge to habit; it was a release from the old.
As I let go of the old color, and placed it carefully with its emergency twin sister in the drawer, I looked in the mirror. I am still not sure that I like it as much as I like the old one, but I am willing to give it a try. As I work through the tangle of issues in my life, I am greatly convinced that creating that new life is dependent on my willingness to try some new things.
Fighting though my habitual reliance on the old has held me back, so good or bad, the times are changing for me.