I am on the 20th day of the 3rd attempt of the Plank Challenge. I am also on the 3rd day of the planner challenge, the 7th day of the 4th attempt of the Squat Challenge and the 3rd round of the 40 day Clean Up Clutter Challenge. My Push Up challenge has gone astray, and I am working through my Barre Challenge. As someone who refuses to make New Year’s Resolutions for fear of having one more opportunity to fail at something, I have set myself up for a whole lot of failure.
Each failed challenge leaves me feeling like a #failure. I know it shouldn’t but that is what happens. Sadly, each failed challenge brings a flood of reminders of each failure before it… #TryTryAgain. UGH, OK, I accept the challenge… I print, I plan, I put it in my planner as an obligation.
Life is full enough. #SingleWorkingMom
Why do I do this to myself? What is it about me that leaves me seeking completion from these dumb challenges. With all the beauty of the widely available information on the Internet, it also brings along a platform and a stage for everyone, even those crazy hash taggers who have suddenly started to irk me BIG TIME.
I drew the line this morning when I was sent an invite to a 30-day organizational challenge with more requirements than my job. #NOTHAPPENING. Who has the time to run these groups and inspire people to be inspired??
I am not one of those people who speaks in hashtags, but I become entranced when I see one that might inspire me to be better than I am or something that I am not.
Twitter me this, hashtag me that, and I have followed…. I follow along in hopes of being inspired. I will be the most organized, best cooking, cleanest, fittest, most planked, squatted and planned person on the internet.
My To Do list has become 40% unnecessary obligations that have stressed me out to the point that I might need to put a new root touch up on my to do list.
My house is no cleaner. I am no thinner. My planner is not better planned. My tush is not tighter. My planks still suck, and I am exhausted trying to keep track of the schedule that I have created.
Today, I came across a challenge that I really do like. Simple. For five days, say nothing negative about yourself. Simple. Five Days.
Can I do this? As I scrap all the other self-imposed obligations that I have created, do I have the power to do two things:
1. Avoid saying anything that is self-deprecating.
2. Have the self-control to #skipthehastag.
Here is the thought process: If I can get through the day without telling myself that I don’t measure up to some standards that are arbitrarily set by someone who has enough time to create and monitor a hashtag set on social media, maybe I can clear my perspective.
Is it really necessary for me to live my life in terms of a challenge? How about this :#SmelltheFlowers or #Kissthekids or #PaintaPicture or #JustBreathe. How about #ExerciseBCYouWantTo ???
Hitting 50 hit me hard.
I have come to realize that is is made harder still by not experiencing what is truly beautiful about getting older… at a certain point in life, you have the experience and the right not to give a F**K about what other people think. I have been married, divorced, married again, divorced again, had cancer, had kids, been on food stamps, worked to get off food stamps… I have lived. I have scars.
Internet, I will shield myself from your challenges.