I’ve been through several, including a divorce which involved addiction and infidelity (not on my part, mind you). And I’ve survived other break ups or rejections. Yes, I know believe it or not there are men that don’t want all this sassy sexy goodness. Hell, let’s face it not everyone is everyone’s cup of tea. Period. End of story. That’s just the way it is.
On the latest episode of my podcast “Remain Calm and Stay Fabulous with Madge”, I discuss how to breakup gracefully. Click below to listen…
The most important thing I can stress is ACCEPTANCE. If you are being dumped. AC. Cept. It. Preserve your dignity and walk away. That way, you made the choice. Also when you are having doubts about your partner, believe what they are showing you and telling you! Your gut is always right.
Am I perfect, no? I had some doozies of breakups. But I think that’s why I have the authority to speak on this.I have terrible anxiety and I think that had a lot to do with it. Three things that make you not handle a break up properly – anxiety, ego, and anger issues (which is also ego but slightly different). If you are upset or panicking because you think you aren’t in control just remember you can be in control in that if your instinct says they are blowing you off or whatever… take control and walk away. Don’t make a big dramatic scene. Nobody likes that mess.
Preserve your dignity, preserve your pride. Have enough self-esteem to know it’s not you, it’s them. Stop internalizing it! Whatever they are feeling has nothing to do with you and everything with them… unless of course you are being a crazy person and that’s why they are rejecting you. In that case just say I made a mistake and walk away. Admitting you are a crazy person is half the battle. Chances are that will make things better in their eyes (if there is any chance) rather than stalking and begging and confrontations.
I used to take every rejection personally. Until someone brought this to my attention – do you like every guy you meet or go on a date with? My answer – No. Why? Because you just don’t, there has to be attraction, chemistry, etc. They could be a perfectly nice person but just no spark. And that’s OK! So, that’s how the dude rejecting you feels.
So don’t try to buy manipulate, pressure or intimidate love, it doesn’t work. It just doesn’t. Don’t chase love. Make someone else EARN your love.
Also don’t seek revenge. 1. It makes you look like an ass. And 2. Could possibly cause you more problems than it was worth like money, criminal charges, or jail time. That song by Carrie Underwood “Before He Cheats”? She’s a freakin’ moron. Talking about keying his car, carving up the leather seats and bashing the headlights? That just cost her a few thousand dollars and a vandalism charge! On some d-bag A-hole who treats her like crap by cheating. Really? Is that worth it? Best thing you can do is walk away, and shake your butt while you’re doing it so he know what he lost. And don’t look back.
I’m not saying it’s not hard. You might have liked someone a lot and thought there was something there and it hurt when they started blowing you off. Yea, it hurts. Cry. Go ahead. Just don’t beg, stalk, or cuss them out. Take. The. High. Road. You will look soooooo much better.
Think about when you have seen or heard about someone going off the deep end because someone cheated on them or rejected them. That person goes burning their clothes or cussing them out in public. Yes, some people might think “You go girl” but sorry most mature rational-minded people will be like “You’re a nutjob, I’d never date that”.
Hold the power, walk away.
Listen to my podcast here –> Remain Calm and Stay Fabulous with Madge