I do a lot of social media hopping. When I’m hustlin’ out there trying to pimp my blog, sell some books, and plug speaking engagements, I see what a lot of other people are doing. I check out what’s going on, who’s doing what, what’s trending.
One thing I’ve seen a boatload of over the past few years is “Mommy Blogging”. Now, as a mother that’s past the Pampers and tantrums stage… even past the “What will be my kid’s next over the top birthday party theme?”, that Mommy Blogging stuff drives me crazy. Now now, no offense to any of you who do. It would have been nice to have blogs by other moms to read when my kids were little. I’ve just been there done that as a single parent of three and don’t want to talk about it ever again. Ever.
I have three teenagers, 19, 16,14. One in college, two in high school. I have a whole new set of issues like sex, drugs, and SAT scores. Things like, do I bother my daughter in the middle of doing physics homework to ask her to take her glass in the kitchen. I say hell no, the man that owns this house says otherwise. Thank God my housing is temporary until I get into my new place… boyfriends do not make good landlords. I digress…
Anyway, I really don’t mind hearing about kid problems or the cute thing Jimmy said on occasion, but the problem I find with Mommy Bloggers is… THAT’S ALL THEY TALK ABOUT! Incessantly! It’s an endless stream of kiddie talk and how busy you are making your taco dip for their Halloween party at school. You are a one trick pony, a one hit wonder, all you can play is one note. Children are the only subject you ever talk about, the only subject you know. You’re like one of those people on “My Strange Addiction” and your drug of choice is motherhood. To anyone else obsessed with their kids, you’ll make fast friends. But to anyone else in the world, you are well… annoying. But that’s how it is with anyone that only talks about one subject, no matter what it is.
And I know it’s hard for divorced parents or single parents. That becomes your world. It’s hard to have time for yourself. But my advice to you is, make some adult time. Somehow find the time, even if you can’t get out of the house, sit on the computer and look up some adult subject. Now I don’t mean porn, just something like classic literature, cars, music, origami… any damn thing that doesn’t involve kids. Especially if you are trying to date again, you are going to need something to talk about with potential suitors other than kids. And at work, your co-workers, clients, patients, will want to make small talk about things other than making Easter baskets out of licorice with your kids.
And for the love of God if you do get out and get to go have a cocktail or something, don’t sit there and talk about kid stuff! It’s just better for your personal growth as well. I learned this from my Mother. She is 87 and she stayed at home and raised 6 children for about 25 years. I remember her saying she had some friends who were completely lost and suffered great depression after the kids left because it was all they knew. My Mother said she always tried to keep up on other interests, not just for when kids left but God forbid anything happened to my Father. And she was good, by the time I was in third grade (I’m the youngest) she decided to finally put her degree to work and be a teacher. She was glad she kept her mind sharp all along.
Being a Mother is freakin’ awesome. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me. However, don’t forget you. Nurture yourself as well as your children. Don’t forget to take an occasional swim in Lake Me.
By the way if anyone locally is interested, I’ll be speaking at this event tonight:
And my book is available on Amazon.com