Over the past 2-3 years I’ve learned some valuable lessons about getting what I want out of life. There is one very simple solution, which I thought was utter and complete bullshit before I experienced it. Well, really I thought that it was bullshit because I thought it required me to be fake and phony. Which was a big bee in my bonnet, because I’m a big stickler on being authentic, but I gained clarity on this. It doesn’t mean that at all.
What’s the big secret you may ask? Well let me first give you the premise, I guess… that would be helpful. Check all that apply to you:
You don’t like where you are in life in general.
You have big dreams and no idea how to get there.
You don’t exactly have the means for what you want to do.
This “not being where you want” applies to any part of your life – your career, your relationship, your friends.
You don’t see things getting better any time soon.
Well, here’s the secret to changing things. It’s two-fold:
1. Be who you want to become.
2. Change your surroundings to where you want to be.
Now just calm the hell down. I know you’re thinking, “Oh sure how am I going to do that?” Just relax, take a deep breath and open your mind.
Let’s say, you want to attract a better caliber of men. You’re really tired of schlubby dudes that don’t have a job or just want a mom or are just douchebags. Whatever the case may be. First action item is… don’t be any of those things yourself.
Yes, this takes a little self-examination. Often we find ourselves complaining about things in our lives and we aren’t doing too much better than the things we are bitching about. You want this guy who is rich and handsome and has a good career, but… do you have any of those things? You live in a crappy apartment with broke down furniture and trash all over, that ain’t helpin’. You don’t necessarily have to be rich but you can act like it. At least clean up the house. You don’t have to live in Bel-Air but at least have pride in the abode you do have. Be honest with yourself – dress nicely and act like you have some class. You don’t have to be gorgeous but at least put yourself together and have some confidence. Nothing is sexier than confidence. Meow, kittens!
Next, start going to some places where these men are more apt to hang. You probably won’t meet a rich handsome dude at Bob’s Bait and Tackle Bar. Sure, you never know… but more likely than not.
I know what you’re saying because I used to think it too… you have to be something you’re not. Not true. It is you, just a more focused version. You want better, then aim higher. It’s like me, most of my closest friends are gay men and I hang in a little hole-in-the-wall (no pun intended) gay pub with all my homies. Now, what are the chances of me finding a man to date in a gay bar? Slim to none, and Slim just left town. I love that pub, but if I want to accomplish heterosexual dating, it ain’t gonna’ happen there. Get it?
You want a better job or finally a real career? Start hanging around more successful people. Join a networking group. Try to meet people in the career you’d like. Join a group online. Hell, even inquire to random companies to have an investigative interview to find out more about an industry or company. Just get in that stream. You want to be an investment banker or something? Start going to happy hour at some of the really high end places in town. Can’t afford it, then just order water. It’s really that simple. You attract what you surround yourself with.
You want positive energy in your life? Get rid of the negative people in your life.
You want to get off drugs or alcohol? Stay away from bars and people who do drugs.
You want to get healthy? Hang around healthy people and don’t go out to dinner every night with the queen of the all-you-can-eat buffet.
First and foremost, start thinking and believing that you are the person you want to be! Believe that it is attainable!
Having the lingering thought that, “well it probably won’t work but Ill try” isn’t really helpful. Saying, “Damnit, I believe I’m capable of this and I deserve it!”.
I’m not saying this will magically change things overnight but it will definitely put you on the path. You’ll be presented with more opportunities and options right away. I do guarantee that. And I also guarantee you’ll probably start to feel better, smell better and have less vermin in your home as well! Now go surround yourself with what you want!