Prince and I have our court-ordered mediation this afternoon. Child support will be determined at the trial, so we will only be addressing custody. I’d say Israel and Palestine have a better chance of sorting out their problems, wouldn’t you? In anticipation of the two hours I will spend “negotiating” with a terrorist, I took the day off work, and am at this very moment sitting in bed fighting off biliousness.
Not only am I bilious at the thought of hearing Prince riff about how crazy/stupid/incompetent I am, but I am also nauseated by some of the asinine choices Luca has made recently.
He got suspended from school on Friday for participating in an ongoing teasing fest with another boy. I arrived home from work fit to be tied. I was even more fit to be tied when he greeted me at the door sporting two sparkly zircon studs in his ears.
“I pierced them myself!” he said, clearly pleased by his piercing prowess.
“You did WHAT?!”
“I ordered a do-it-yourself kit! How do they look? Are they even?” he asked, turning his face from side to side.
“They look great. You’re grounded. And you’re doing everyone’s laundry.”
In the grand scheme of things, Luca’s choices are stupid, but not boot camp stupid. He was re-admitted to school yesterday and he didn’t pierce anything else on his body. But his hijinks will just fuel Prince’s drama-spinning. I expect to hear all about it in mediation today, something along the lines of how Luca set the school on fire and how I let him get a septum ring and this is proof that I’m a terrible mother and why he should retain custody and send Luca off to wilderness camp in Siberia.
So I’ll be taking this to mediation today:
And when I get home I’ll have some of this:
Perhaps topped off with some of these:
Too bad Girl Scout Cookie season is over.
To be continued…