I haven’t had sex in two and a half years. There! I said it.
And it didn’t sound half as pitiful as I thought it would. But a fact like that is hard to ignore, especially because the minute my divorce was final, I found my long-lost libido. For the first time in years, I am actually aware that there are men on the planet I’m attracted to and I feel I should be doing something about it.
Let me tell you. It’s a hard way to live when the man who you vowed to love, honor and cherish is no longer the man you want to have or to hold. It wasn’t that he’d lost his looks. Oh no. Women who didn’t really know him scolded me for losing my edge with such a handsome man.
“He’s so handsome,” they would say. “I know. It’s really sad…” I would say with all the earnestness at my command, because it was sad. How could a beautiful package be so deceivingly empty?
But back to my sex life, or lack there-of. I’m in a quandary. In no way am I ready for a serious relationship. But I would like to be carried away, literally and figuratively, by a gorgeous hunk for a long weekend or two. Because all I know is that a vibrator, no matter how efficient, doesn’t have chest hair or arms that squeeze you till you melt. It’s been so long since I had sex that I feel sure I have become a virgin again. I swear, it feels like that in my head. I feel inexperienced and have no clue how to go about fixing this interminable dry spell.
What I really want is a meeting of the minds; where handsome meets soulful, where rich meets generous, where manly meets tender. Is that too much to ask for? I certainly hope not, because it’s a shock to the system to be out here and single again and being a born again virgin at my age just doesn’t seem to cut it.