It’s tough when your ex moves out. But tougher still, is when he only moves across town when you were hoping he’d relocate to another state or at the very least, another county. What this ultimately means is that you have a 50% chance of running in to him at any given moment. And the odds only increase the closer you inch towards his zip code.
My ex’s new neighborhood happens to boast several of my favorite haunts such as a wine bar/art gallery I adore as well as a coffee shop and the best little one-of-a-kind clothing boutique in the city. Unfortunately that means I’ve had to wean myself off that part of town entirely, even though it pains me to do so. The thought of an awkward chance encounter with him, let alone the real deal, sends me into a fit of apoplectic shock and avoiding the area altogether seems like a worthy trade-off in the scheme of things. But I do dearly miss shopping at that little boutique.
Another problem with his not having the sense God gave him to move a respectable distance away, is that I continue to run in to people we both know who feel compelled to share the latest news about his progress or lack there-of. Honestly, I could care less if he’s dating or looking for a new job, although when I hear negative reports, which I often do, I find that I am embarrassed to admit I was ever married to him. “Why can’t he go be an idiot in some other town?” I ask the bearer of these unhappy tidings. But alas this is just one more question I have to file in the “I don’t understand him” column, which has gotten larger and heftier over time; a fact I didn’t even think was possible.
Really, divorce and its aftermath is all about trade-offs. I got to keep our rambling old Victorian because I was the only one who could afford to do so and he moved into a cramped duplex. This almost made me feel sorry for him but then I thought better of it because he was the one who wanted to trade our happiness for the freedom he thought he wanted. He couldn’t find the life he needed in the vicinity of my heart which made me sad for a really long time. I’m over it now and I hope he eventually settles in a place where he can find what he’s looking for. But oh, how I pray that that place is in a land far, far away from here so that I can go shopping again, sometime soon.