Everyone takes pictures at their wedding; hundreds of them. And we frame that day in a thousand memories. But no one takes pictures of the divorce and it’s really no wonder why. There’s no cake, no celebratory bouquet toss, no first dance and certainly no toasts. There is just endless paperwork, the division of assets and more than likely, a score or two to settle. And how do you take a picture of that? Or more to the point, why would you even want to?
No one wants to remember the moment they said “I don’t” and to tell you the truth, I can’t even remember the actual date that my divorce became final. I only know that one day I was legally hitched and the next I was not and I‘ve never thought to look back.
Now and again I come across a stray wedding photo while cleaning out a drawer or flipping through a paperback. And my reaction is always the same. Who is that happy looking woman in the big, white dress? Was I ever really that thin? Maybe I should put that dress up on eBay…I was the picture perfect bride, but the picture perfect divorcee? I’m not so sure about that. Honestly, I have no idea what that should really look like since I don’t have a photo to prove it.
If I could travel back in time, maybe I’d do it differently; have the presence of mind to pose for a shot or two. And I could look at those pictures and remember the day when I smiled for the camera, standing alone on the steps of the courthouse, ready or not, for my close up. But I guess I’ll just have to make do with the few memories from that day, such as they are, that I have stored in the photo album of my mind. It’s the day I cut my losses and started a new kind of life and that is a picture I can live with.