Sometimes you need to spend some time with your girlfriends. After my week with Al’s ex, Crazy Eyes (new nickname alert), calling every few minutes I definitely needed to unwind. Every time Al and I talked on the phone after we got home, I got irritated about the situation. His ex calling, her involving the kids in their pathology. I have also been irritated at the situation with his daughter, feeling like it could be handled better, sad and worried that she will never accept her dad dating.
Sometimes I feel like he and I are this car. Surrounded by 6 goats running in circles. Barely making any headway in our relationship because of the damn goats.
The goats are all 6 kids plus his ex. Stanley doesn’t care enough to be a goat.
On Saturday night, I went to a friend’s house to meet up with girlfriends for some cocktail therapy on the back porch. It was good, really good for me. We mostly all poured out our crap, although I admit I had lots of crap to pour.
By the time I had my second glass of wine, I was on a roll.
I poured out the whole long, boring ass story (srsly I could see the eye rolls they were so bored) of how crazy his ex is and how his oldest daughter is angry about the divorce and mean to me, how Crazy Eyes calls and calls and calls.
Poor pitiful me.
They bitch slapped me right back into reality.
Thanks. I needed that.
Yes, apparently while on this long drawn out car journey, surrounded by crazy goats, I fell into the trap of thinking I was responsible for everything and everybody and how every kid in the world handles divorce. I have no idea what happened to me but I had surely lost my way. The girlfriends unanimously agreed that I was off my rocker. It was tactfully (and then not so tactfully) pointed out to me that Al’s relationship with his oldest daughter,
is not my business.
She’s an adult, this is his relationship with his adult daughter, and NOT MY BEEZWAX. In addition, it was also pointed out to me that really, his dynamic with Crazy Eyes, is not my beezwax either.
I had taken on the job of Peace and Harmony Director of the Universe.
Yeah. So, the wine slightly dulled the sting of the bitch slap. Only slightly. I realized I had to get my self back on track. If a client (like me) came to me and told me the same long, boring story of their lovah’s crazy ex and his daughter who is mad about his divorce, I would have helped her identify the benefits of keeping appropriate boundaries and challenged her to consider why she appointed herself Peace and Harmony Director of the Universe.
Friends, I had totally lost my perspective. The goats got to me.
It was embarrassing and frightening to realize how completely I had lost my perspective. As a matter of fact, I am surprised that I didn’t get nailed in the comments after my last post by people suggesting that there were things in my rant, that were in fact, not my business. I told Al that I was turning over a new leaf. I have seen the light.
It doesn’t matter if the goats call me on the phone
Or knock me down
Or give me a tongue lashing
I am not letting the goats ruin my day. Or my romance.
Do you hear that goats?