It isn’t supposed to be like this.
It is supposed to be a happy time of peace and goodwill.
Instead, I have an empty bank account and a house that smells of Lysol from puking kids.
No nice cookie smells here. I haven’t baked any.
There are 2 presents under the tree.
I haven’t strung lights outside.
I haven’t hung the stockings by the chimney with care.
I will do that today, I swear, Santa, I swear.
The kids have a half day of school and then are out for 16 days. Stanley has the weekend and I guess I will try to shop.
To pay I will have to turn tricks in the mall parking lot. (joke)
I drove home last night in the dark and saw all the perfect houses with their perfect lights outside.
I know how it is, their lives aren’t as perfect as they seem from cars passing by either.
But dang, their lights look pretty and their houses appear all aglow, warm and I can just imagine the nice family with their mugs of hot cocoa watching Rudolph before they tuck the tiny tots in bed and then go upstairs hand in hand and cling to each other in bed whispering words of devotion.
I know that’s crap.
He may be boinking a girl at work and she may be in a manic phase and running up the credit cards on QVC while he is at work.
I’m just trying to make myself feel better.
A friend of mine keeps saying that her daughter says things like,
“if we don’t put up lights outside, it looks like we don’t even celebrate Christmas!”
And she is very upset that there aren’t wrapped presents yet under their tree. it just shows me that no matter how young or old we seem to have unrealistic expectations about the holidays.
I want that fucking Bing Crosby Christmas too, damnit.
But what we don’t realize when we are little is how hard people have to work to pull that off.
I’ve also been working hard at my job and trying to get my last minutes CEU’s for the year.
Bing didn’t have to get 15 CEUS before January 1 either.
Freaking Bing Crosby and Christmas.
I watched White Christmas last weekend. I used to love it. This time I thought it was totally stupid.
I’m going to find my Christmas spirit I swear.