Yesterday a friend of mine sent me a text that said,
“If I get a divorce will I be okay?”
She is in that particularly bad place where her marriage
could go either way and she is living in that unstable place.
First, there is nothing as bad as that place.
Divorce is not as bad as that place.
I replied, “Sure! You will be fine. You are just thinking about
your worst case scenario, but worst case is you will be fine!”
I was frustrated as hell, but it wasn’t divorce frustration.
It was patient frustration and traffic frustration and sick kid frustration.
Also, there was a bit of ‘stupid long distance relationship’ frustration thrown in.
But most days now, I feel happy and powerful and okay about my divorce.
Then I saw this post on a friend’s page on FB.
HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY! I’m really happy that you and daddy are still together, I can’t tell you how happy I am to have two parents that are still together and love each other. Thank you so much for doing everything you do, and here’s hoping the next 20 years are even better than the first.
It was from her 15 year-old son.
It made me feel like shit.
|Facebook may be the devil.|
Then the grief sneaks back.
It is like a fucking Merry-Go-Round the grief to me.
It has flashing lights and is obnoxious.
I know all about grief and the cycles of grief.
I am a certified grief counselor.
La Di Da.
I know not to expect it to be over quickly
and that I will always feel sadness about my divorce.
But sometimes I just want to say a permanent
goodbye and fuck you to the Merry- Go- Round.