I had such a wonderful weekend with my lovah here.
Oh, there were ups and downs for sure
(and ins and outs, but that’s just naughty.)
Friday he arrived just in time for carpool pickup.
Woop! It’s fun to date a mom!
I was on for the weekend but Stanley swapped with me so I could have Friday night off. So, we had Friday afternoon with kids, Friday night date night, Saturday at 10 am back to the nest for kid duty until 5 on Sunday, then date night again and he left this afternoon.
There is an elephant on my chest tonight from missing.
Last year during the Presidential election, the chest-crushing-missing elephant got a name.
Friday night we went to dinner and that was weird really. The long distance had really sucked me down and he felt almost ‘foreign’ to me. The distance is just so hard. I resent it and push him away, raising all my defenses, then he comes back in and I have to acclimate to him again, drop my guard again, and let him back in to the soft places in my heart. It takes a while.
I ‘steel’ myself to manage the whole ‘divorced mom’ thing on my own.
Then he comes in and I’m ‘steeled’.
He starts chipping away at my cold steely heart but sometimes it takes half of our time together for me to drop those fine defenses I’ve built.
I’m an excellent defense builder.
Really, I am convinced that only Al could get me to drop them at all.
So, we had a weird dinner Friday and I told him that I just needed a male, yard-work loving roommate instead of a boyfriend. Because I’m a real sweetheart except my heart is made of steel. Well, that hurt his feelings and he asked for the check. I told him I didn’t mean it bad, I just needed a man here and he needed a girlfriend there. Well, that didn’t make it any better. No, what I meant was, I needed a man here, who is a roommate who can do stuff I can’t, like climb little ladders and get the fire alarm to quit chirping, etc. So, I took his hand and said, “I’m sorry” and we walked out together and stood by the car in the moonlight and he grabbed me strongly by both sides of my coat collar and said,
“You don’t get it, there is no other woman for me, but you. If I had to live in a box on the side of the road to be with you, I would do it. I am NOT going to let you down. I’m going to move heaven and earth to be with you as soon as I can!”
Then he kissed me in the moonlight holding my coat collar and I swooned.
I mumbled, “I’m sorry.” Because I’m lame and not worthy of his devotion.
“I’m not finished. You can have a male gardening roommate, but he has to be gay. And I have to see a certificate of his gayness.”
I can have Bert or Ernie I guess.
Then we went back to his hotel and made love.
Then we held hands and talked for two hours, nekkid.
(I never did that with my ex, just sayin.)
I told him all of the things I’ve been worried about that I haven’t told him on the phone and cried a whole bunch and it was very cathartic.
He pledged his eternal devotion and gave me a billion kisses.
Plus, he raked (along with me and the kids who are awful at it,) 15 bags of leaves, put away the outside pool furniture, took out the window AC unit in my bedroom, took down a window screen that was screaming for burglers to enter, and helped me hang up laundry.
He would be an excellent roommate.
Plus, he’s in the vagina business, so it’s a win-win.
It’s just the miles, it’s just the miles….