No, not me, you silly!
Her show came on yesterday while I
was getting ready to work.
She reported her engagement and the topic of the show was
2nd marriages and how to make them work to avoid
being one of the dismal 60-70% that end in divorce.
I thought it might be interesting and hit record on the DVR.
I watched it in the afternoon.
(Y’all don’t even want to know what I had to deal with
yesterday but lets just say that one of my clients is now
in jail on a rape charge and $250K bond. I’ll probably
end up in court. Again…)
There were several experts on the show talking about
the statistics on second marriages.
Dismal but apparently if you make it 5 years
then the percentage of divorce goes down to
the rate of first marriages,
so it falls from 60-70%
Awful and depressing.
Help me Jesus.
Then there were some blended families on.
I am shocked by how quickly some people remarry
and how quickly they expect their kids to adjust.
Kids that are still reeling from their parents split,
quickly have to adjust to a new step-parent, and
new brothers and sisters.
I think we have very unrealistic expectations of children
but that is a thought for another day.
Al and I have tried to go slow with the kids but really
they haven’t given us much choice. Also, as much
as I hate the distance, it has made our relationship
move slower and give our kids more time to adjust.
I think it was a year ago that Jumping Bean put a note
on my bed that although she liked Al, she couldn’t
see him as her stepfather.
I blogged about it here
My kids like him but I don’t know what their
reaction would be if I said we were getting married.
After more than 14 months, I have only met 2/3 of his children.
His oldest, a senior in college, has expressed clearly that she
has no interest in meeting any girlfriends.
She was the most angry about his divorce and has had the hardest
time adjusting to his new world order.
His 15 year-old daughter has spent a fair amount of time with me
and we email occasionally. His son, well,
I’ve spent the most time with him, including Saturday.
Ironically, when he was getting out of my car and we were
leaving on Saturday, he said, “Goodbye, ________________!”
Al and I looked at each other and both laughed,
because that is the first time he has
ever said my name to our knowledge.
I don’t know how people get kids on board so quickly
when it took 14 months for an 18 year-old to say my name.
Anyway, I might get married one day.
But I do hope my kids will be happy about it
and to be adjusted well enough to the divorce
to cope with the changes it will cause for them.
Good luck to Katie and all the blended families out there
trying to beat the odds.