My lovah wrote a very beautiful post for me on Valentine’s Day. I was busy and unable to work a post in and he said he would ‘come up with something.’ What I ended up with was a beautiful Valentine declaration of his belief in true love, soul mates and his love for me.
It touched me to the core, it was really sweet. It was also sort of embarrassing.
I am a 49 year-old woman, I’m chubby, I’ve never had Botox, my roots are horrible. Yet, to him I am beautiful. If you were to see me, you would be like, “Wha?”
As previously stated here, many times to the point of overkill, Al is a total romantic. He really is just as he appears. He always was a total sap. His eyes get misty sometimes when he tells me me loves me. He is constantly having to deal with me giving him the eye roll when he makes his declarations of undying true love. To be clear, I love it and it is just another part of him that is very dear to me. But if had only met him recently and we didn’t have a history together, I would be very wary of a man so convinced that I am ‘The One’. If I didn’t know him, I would have been scared he was a stalker.
I don’t know if I believe that there is a ‘The One’ for everyone. Before Al, I was the sort of cynic who believed that there was a
‘The One for Right Now’
It blows my mind sometimes how absolutely opposite Al and Stanley are. (Especially since I worry about repeating patterns and live in fear that I will hook up with my dad again since I already married him once. I really need to marry my mother next time. Al has every indication of being my mother. See ‘Are You My Mother?’ ) But, they are as different as night and day. Al believes in Soul Mates and Stanley doesn’t believe in souls. Al is a very spiritual person and Stanley, clearly is not at all.
Considering how romantic he is, Al also married someone who was not. He told me that he bought her a book of poetry one year for Valentine’s Day and not only did she not appreciate it or read it, she used it as a prop for the uneven coffee table. Well, that is not only unromantic and insensitive but
Al and I talked this weekend about his romantic post and the concept of Soul Mates. We discussed his beliefs and my skepticism although if there was ever anyone that could make me a believer, it would be this man. What we determined and what I can believe, is that maybe we are all given a chance at a Soul Mate and then we mess it up. We make the decision to date someone else, or (as in my case) we meet that person when we are too young to recognize it.
Truly, when we dated when I was 17, I thought all boys must be that sweet and loving, it didn’t even occur to me that the men in my future wouldn’t love me the same way that he did or see in me what he sees. Girlfriend had a long way to fall.
I ate pavement more than a few times by assholes that said they loved me but didn’t treat me like they loved me.
When I thought of Al through the years, I always hoped that he hadn’t had that romantic sweet part of his personality beaten out of him by life. I knew he got married very young. Although that ended in divorce and he has taken quite a beating emotionally by it, he still was as sweet and romantic as ever.
We have our issues and baggage from our marriages.
At the end of the day though, I would like to believe that what I didn’t recognize the first time, I am smart enough to recognize now. Between the two of us, whether there is such a thing as soul mates or true love or not, he sees in me something that other’s don’t. He sees into my heart and recognizes what is there. I see into his heart and recognize what is there. What we have together is the truest form of love I’ve ever experienced.
So soul mate or not, I don’t want to mess this up again.
I do believe in love, I do believe in love.
Plus he’s hawt.