Just call me Arya Stark.
I’ve read all of the Game of Thrones books.
I watch the TV show. Usually through my spread fingers or from behind a pillow, but still that shit sinks in and I realized today that I am keeping a list like little Arya.
Game of Thrones is full of violence and vengeance. Westeros is a hard land. For those of you that don’t know the story, Arya is a young girl from a wealthy family that sees her father executed, then runs for her life through the rest of 5 books trying to find the rest of her family. Many people wrong her and she starts keeping a list of people in her head that she would like to kill. She recites her mental list, which gets quite long, every night before she goes to sleep on whatever hard ground she can find. I wouild like to give Arya a hot meal, a bath and a bed.
Although I don’t want to see people actually die for their bad behavior, I will admit to wishing a small (okay explosive) case of diarrhea or at the very least an itchy rash, on a few. Oh, I know, that’s mean. The reality is that I’m not really a mean person. I have a hard time watching people suffer and I have a very short memory after I have been wronged. I know some actions are worth holding a grudge but I have too much ADHD and forget their rudeness, then I am accidentally nice to that person. Therefore what usually happens, is they behave badly again and I make a mental note to remember that they are an asshole and that I need to remember so as to not put myself out there emotionally again. Then, yes, you guessed it, I forget again.
But some people deserve a case or two of explosive diarrhea.
Take Stanley for instance. I can’t bring myself to be mean to him even when he shows no regard for my feelings. All of that love that I felt at one time makes me soft on him. So, I get mad, I call him names, I resolve to give him a piece of my mind, then when I see him, I’ve forgotten and he comes in and I’m all sweet to him like I would be a cognitively challenged bagger at Target. He takes advantage of my good nature. I have done better with setting limits wtih him since I resolved to be a Pansy no more, but it’s hard. He totally deserves a case of explosive diarrhea.
Next on my list is Al’s ex. Now, Al, my love, does have a streak for vengeance. He is italian after all and he may forgive, but he doesn’t really forget. That woman is a bitch, for real. She calls and calls and calls and asks for money time and time again, then when she wears him down she goes out and buys herself a new sofa. He gets mad and doesn’t sleep at night. She is on my list for explosive diarrhea.
There are a few more. I have a family member, only related to me by marriage, that needs a case for sure. My ex MIL, has been forefront in my mind for the past few weeks for wrongs done to me and my kids, yep, in the bathroom you go, bitch. I even have a doctor that I used to work with, misogynist, narcissistic, asshole, that needs about a week of it. He is on my list for sure.
Before I go to bed, I whisper in reverence: Stanley, Al’s ex wife, mean family member related by marriage, Dr. Ware….
Then there are a lot of spouses of fellow bloggers that need it too; Prince, the Goblin King, well I could go on and on. I could probably assign explosive diarrhea all day. But what will probably happen is that I will get it myself and that will suck bad.