Srsly, that was messed up. It was all his fault.
I was on the first part of the week with the exchange due to happen on Wednesday after work. I proactively emailed him on Tuesday and told him that the weather was going to get bad during the day on Wednesday and I probably needed to stay since I would already be here. Also, I informed him of a meeting scheduled with my boss at 8 a.m. Thursday a mere 1/2 mile from here. I told him that I needed to stay here on Wednesday night in case the weather was bad so I could get to this meeting. The meeting was happening regardless because my boss was coming from out of town, it was our quarterly thing and she comes in a few days before. In light of the weather, I needed to be able to get to that meeting and like I said, it was right down the road from the house.
He said, “Okay.”
I said a whole bunch more things and then he said, “Maybe I should stay at my apartment and just let you do it.”
I said, “Okay. So, if the weather gets bad tomorrow don’t worry about coming here.”
He said, “Okay.” Of course.
So, Wednesday afternoon comes and ice is pelting the windows, the weather forecasters are saying, “Stay the hell off the roads!”
and I hear the garage door go up!
He comes in and says, “It’s pretty bad out there.”
I still have no idea why he showed up, but we were stuck here for 2 nights. It was weird and awkward but the kids were all,
The 5 of us under one roof for 48 hours.
I went to my room and tried to avoid him, it was his time with the kids after all. I came down for food and drink and tried to stay out of the way. I did hear him talking to his girlfriend several times on the phone and I can assure you she wasn’t happy about the situation.
I did pass him once in the kitchen and he teased me about something I didn’t know and I said,
“Shut up Stanley.”
It felt great. I don’t know if I ever said that in the whole time that we were married. I felt free. Like, I don’t care if you get mad at me, shut up.
So, it was very weird. I avoided him as much as possible but we did have a few exchanges and moments. He was oddly amused at Merlot and I making Snow Cream (what we never see snow here).
I am still totally shocked as to why he came. I guess he wanted to be with the kids and it was his night. Sometimes I realize how much he does want to be with them and it kind of makes me sad. He doesn’t want to take care of them per se, and he doesn’t want to engage with them so much for long periods of time (I mean like over several hours) but he does seem to want them around, like in the background. Like when we were married. He liked our family and the feeling of ‘our family’ even though he didn’t engage or participate as much as I would have liked.
Sometimes I realize how clearly I pulled the rug out from under him.
I did get a glimpse into what it is like when he is here and I am gone. I was in my room, and the kids were all in their rooms, doors closed. Merlot was playing and reading, Jumping Bean was texting and drawing and The Boy was playing XBox. They don’t do that so much when I am here, they hang with me in the family room. Not always, sometimes the older ones come and go, but they do stay with me, watching movies, etc., more than not. Merlot stays with me constantly so to see her in her room was odd.
Yesterday the snow started melting and the roads got some better so he packed his bag and went back to his other life. He gave hugs and kisses to the kids and I ventured out of my room when the garage door went down.
It was weird, weird, weird.
Birdnesting is almost over. My wedding is 3 months away.