Many times a day I ask myself the question,
How did I get myself into a stupid long distance relationship at 48 years old?
I didn’t get married until I was in my 30’s and I had a few of these LD relationships in my 20’s,
so it isn’t like I didn’t know how much they suck.
As a matter of fact, I remember that after ending my last one at about 28, I made a vow that I would never do it again.
And yet here I am.
I’m not sorry of course because the difference is that he is wonderful. As opposed to the other men that I have participated in them with previously who were merely ‘okay’ where the inconvenience did not outweigh the benefit.
But Al is Mr. Wonderful and puts up with my shit and so I always come
back to the fact that this is how it has to be right now and he is worth it.
Mr. Wonderful Doll
Just in case you are wondering and can’t read them, this is what the Mr. Wonderful Doll is saying:
1. “Here, you take the remote. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care what we watch.”
2. “You know, honey. Why don’t you just relax and let me make dinner tonight.”
3. “Aw, can’t your mother stay another week?”
4. “The ballgame really isn’t that important. I’d rather spend time with you.”
5. “Let’s just cuddle tonight.”
6. “Actually, I’m not sure which way to go. I’ll turn in here and ask directions.”
He has actually said most of those things to me. I’m spoiled rotten.
So, last night I wanted to watch American Horror Story on FX. If you aren’t watching this show then you are smart and probably sleep better than I do. It scares the pee water out of me, but it is brilliant and I love Jessica Lange and so watch it anyway. Usually, I DVR it and watch it in the daylight. A little backgroud about the show. I watched it last year and yes this is the second season. But Ryan Murphy, who also did Glee, Nip/Tuck and also now The New Normal, has made it so that every year there is a new ‘horror’ with a new story completely although some of the cast comes back. So like last year was about a haunted house and Jessica Lange was a wacky neighbor, this year it is in an insane asylum and Jessica is the Nun in charge, Sister Jude. There is no correlation between the seasons at all.
I was off last night and at the crash pad (they are out of town again now so all safe). Because he is a sweetheart, Al has started to watch too and last night we had a SKYPE date to watch the show. It was fun.
But I still watched it like this and kept asking him what happened.
Then when it was over and bedtime I was scared.I considered
but decided I am a big girl and that was stupid. But shit I was wishing he was here.
I ended up taking 2 Tylenol PM’s and a half a Xanax.
We are making the distance work. The worst I find is that on days like Saturday and the fight with my dad, I could really use a big hug and of course I can’t get that. Due to the distance we occasionally get our ‘wires crossed’ communicating, something is taken out of context, etc, but generally we communicate so well that we get it fixed quickly.
The benefit far outweighs the inconvenience.
Plus, I know that my kids and his kids need the time to process and grieve the divorce and if we were in the same town it would be much harder to give them that.
So, maybe I should think of it as a blessing.
NO. I’m not that silly. It is still a stupid long distance relationship.
Still, it is much easier to tolerate when Mr. Wonderful is on the other end.