Stanley is awful at holidays.
But he was always awful. This is not new. He doesn’t call his own mom on Mother’s Day. True, she is in another country, and the day is celebrated on a different day than in the US, but she has told me before it hurts her feelings that he doesn’t even call and that she would be happy for a call on the American Mother’s Day. But no. Before I realized what an absolute bitch she was, I used to help him and would remind him (by that I meant I would buy and send a card to her). Then I decided that was stupid, it wasn’t my responsibility.
Ye Olde bitch.
Ye olde bitch raised the most unsentimental person in the whole world.
Stanley sucked on most occasions. On my first birthday after we were married, he didn’t even get me a card for my birthday. At the end of the day when I realized I was getting nothing but a “happy birthday” greeting, I cried myself to sleep. When he finally noticed, I said, “I can’t believe you didn’t even get me a card, dinner, nothing!” sob. He said,
“But you told me not to go all out!”
True. I did. We had just bought a sofa and I didn’t want him to spend a lot of money on my birthday. I remember crying, “I didn’t mean I didn’t want you to acknowledge it at all!”
Talk about a concrete thinker.
In our paperwork, we are supposed to have the kids on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day respectively. On Mother’s Day he was on, but we made a deal that I would come in early so as to have the whole day with the kids. I got here and Merlot was hobbling around on her crutches, she had made me a card, and they were all upset that they had nothing to give me. He didn’t help them to do anything for me at all. They were crying and shit.
So, now here we are on Father’s Day. I haven’t heard a word from him about coming early for his day. Here in lies my dilemma…
The immature part of me wants to ignore it.
The smart, sensitive part of me wants to help the children do something for him so that they won’t be upset and feel like the only losers in the world that didn’t do anything for their dad on Father’s Day.
Okay. I’m going to do the right thing and get him a gift card and some cards and maybe make some boxed brownies. The important thing is that the kids feel good and also that I model appropriate behavior to them about how to honor people that they love on holidays and birthdays and shit. Heaven forbid I raise another male child that sucks on birthdays. The suckage stops with me. But he won’t really appreciate my efforts because he isn’t sentimental at all. The way it is received is not my business, it isn’t for him anyway. It’s for the kids so I’m going to do it.
But I’m not going to like it.