Stanley, Stanley, Stanley.
I let my guard down with him. Since he has been hobbling around on crutches, I’ve been trying to help him. He is exhausted with the crutches since he broke his hip and so I’ve done all of the nest shopping and housework, even throwing in some of his laundry when I’m doing the kid’s clothes. I’ve tried to anticipate his needs here for his nights so that he doesn’t have to try to hobble in Target, Kroger, extra stuff at the schools, etc.
Once again, I’ve been overfunctioning for my underfunctioning ex-husband.
All the while I’ve been doing it I’ve known that the more you do for Stanley the less he will ever do for himself. After being married for 14 years to the man I learned the hard way that once I took over a task, he never once did it again. Therefore, I’m sure that he has done his last dish here.
Even with that knowledge, I have still tried to help him.
But now I’m just pissed.
I have a whole bunch of problems; third world problems but problems all the same. The pool has a leak so there is a dry, 10 ft deep, 16 X 32 HOLE in the backyard. The estimates to fix it are all in the $2600-2900 range. My garage door has been on the blink. My remote wouldn’t work at all, so I’ve had to get out of the car and do it manually for 2 weeks. I am ready to continue with my Couples Therapy training but lack the funds, etc.
I feel like I have a whole bunch of unfinished business.
My dad came over yesterday to look at the garage door. Luckily it was an easy fix not involving sensors or motors. Somehow my remote had become unprogrammed. Dad was trying to reprogram it and said to me, “do you think you are remote I or 2?” Well, I was 2 of course. Where Stanley was concerned I was always 2.
Dumb ass programmed me as 2 when we moved in.
I know it is nothing, but I was always 2! Always.
This is much more than the damned garage door.
As long as he gets what he needs first, then he will throw me the leftovers. Merlot told me this morning that she was glad my garage door remote worked but that when Daddy dropped her off last night his didn’t work. Somehow my dad unprogrammed Stanley’s remote while programming mine.
Stanley will be back for the weekend so you can put money on the fact that mine will be as dead as a doornail by Sunday wchen I get back.
Even though I do all of the carpooling and bring the kids back here every single day. There is rarely a time when he comes in that I am not here so the garage is already up. I used the remote about 100 times more than he does every month.
I would like to believe that he would do it because he is being passive aggressive about my engagement. At least that would give him a reason for his behavior. Instead I know that it is what it was always about with him. I am a recently divorced #2.