Getting engaged is fun.
I still don’t quite believe it though. I’ve told just a few people because we were in agreement not to make a public announcement until all 6 kids have been told. Plus, I had to tell Stanley. Al said that he wasn’t telling his ex. He says it isn’t her business and she is a mean pig and doesn’t deserve to be treated respectfully. Hmmmm. I brought up the point that if you co-parent you should keep your ex informed of all things that will impact your child.
He reminded me that they don’t co-parent, they parallel parent.
Which meant, “I’m not telling that mean pig any of my business.”
So, we set out to tell the children.
I waited a few days to see if the whole thing was going to stick. Then when I was alone with Jumping Bean in the car for an extended time, I just floated it out there…
“So, you haven’t really noticed my ring, but I wanted to tell you… last weekend, Al asked me to marry him and I accepted. Well, I kind of accepted. I mean, I want it to be okay with all of you, of course. I wouldn’t marry anyone that you guys weren’t happy about me marrying.”
(I was very nervous)
She looked at me with huge eyes and went,
One down, 5 more to go, plus Stanley.
Al called me a few minutes later and said he was having dinner with 2 of his kids, the 19 yo boy and his 16 yo daughter. His intention was to put it out there. He called me later and said that it went really well.
His daughter was all,
and his son was all,
3 down, 3 to go, plus Stanley.
The next afternoon, the other 2 of mine were in the kitchen, we were making dinner and all was good so I went for it again, with basically the same script as before..
My boy was all,
and Merlot, was speechless with glee.
That left only 2. The bad skeery 2:
His oldest daughter who has wanted nothing to do with me, and Stanley.
His daughter is not my monkey not my circus, but Stanley is my monkey… so.
Because I didn’t want Stanley to hear it from the kids, I knew on Friday that I had to get right on that. I decided to take the coward’s way out and send him an email. It was fitting really, since we decided to get divorced on email and most of our best fights were via email. I told him that Al had proposed, I had accepted but we didn’t have a date yet, probably sometime next summer. Then I told him that I had no idea what this would do to our house dilemma since I didn’t know how the kids would feel about him moving in if I decided to buy it so I had to give them time to process the news and see how they feel about it.
I was mighty nervous after I pushed send.
I sent a text to Al and a copy of the email. He responded that it was good and it would be fine. To be honest, he was sort of clueless as to why I bothered telling Stanley at all. But again, Stanley and I do co-parent, this will effect him. I was trying to work and frantically checking my email for a response, when about 3 minutes later, there is was. He said,
Sometimes just when I think he is the biggest assclown on the planet, he acts right.
That left only 1 to go, but my circle was complete, I was done.
Later that same day, Al sent me a text, on the phone with daughter. Going well.. He called me after and said that it had gone really well. She said she was expecting it and that was about it. Then she talked about her life, her new boyfriend, and the 2 large tattoos she got on her feet.
Honestly, it was very anticlimactic with her and Stanley both.
He is coming in to town on Friday for the weekend and I guess then that we will post pictures on FB and start spreading the word. Stanley came in at 5 today for nest exchange and in front of the kids said, “Congratulations to you! Are you kids excited?”
Then he hugged me. Bizarre.
Al used to tell me that we were ‘going to outlast the fuckers.’
I guess we did after all.