My second wedding is now just 2 months away.
I am freaking the hell out.
I still need a DJ, flowers and to get the invitations printed.
I’m afraid I’m going to be a geriatric stressed out bride…
my best hope is that I don’t end up in a mug shot.
Al and I discovered when talking about our first weddings that neither of us chose to write our own vows.
Which is CRAZY because both of us are so verbal and wordy (well, he is, not me, of course.)
We decided that we were so lacking in inspiration in those relationships, even in the beginning, that we promised our lives away in someone else’s words.
So, we decided to that end, that we would write our own vows. I have been writing mine in my head, while I’m in the shower, driving in the car, doing laundry, when I’m supposed to be working, you get the drift. I keep surprising myself with what I want in my vows, and what I want to hear from him, based on my previous experience.
Our first vows sucked… To Cherish? Stanley didn’t know what it meant, most people don’t. Of course I didn’t promise to ‘obey’ but the rest of them up there were included. Also, ‘Til death do us part’ really meant ‘until we can’t stand the sight of each other.’ This time my vows will be these:
I promise every single day to remember that you are my partner and that our relationship is most important.
I vow to always make you a part of the solution instead of solving every problem by myself.
I promise that every day I will treat you like my best friend and not furniture.
I vow to try to make you laugh every single day.
I promise not to take you and your love for granted (Al’s first wife was horrible that way).
I promise to make you feel your opinion is important and that your thoughts are important to me.
Al says his will be like this:
I promise to create at least one special moment everyday.
I promise to be sure to stop whatever I am doing and give you 100% of my attention when you need it. (YAY!)
To share all of my thoughts and never have any doors closed to you. (Thank you Jesus.)
That I will kiss you first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
I will try to notice that other people are in a room that you are in. But there are no guarantees.
I will hold and protect your heart so that no harm will come to it.
There will be no spaces and no way for me to get close enough, but I will always try because you are the light of my world and my eternal hearts desire.
*I know, I know.*
He shamed me. Can you believe he didn’t write his own vows before?
He is the most romantic man in the world and it does not suck to be me.
I mean, his favorite book is
I think that different people bring out different things in people. I know that different friends bring out different sides of me.
My friend Molly brings out humor and stupid jokes.
Co-workers bring out the clinician.
School mom friends bring out the competent, cool and collected person inside.
Several friends bring out insecure Cuckoo and reassure me I’m doing some things right.
Stanley brought out competence and achievement in me and it is likely I would be working on my doctorate by now if we were still married.
Al brings out sentiment, sweetness and romance. Oh, and giggles and sexy woman.
I was not sentimental when I married Stanley. Just like it didn’t occur to me to write my own vows, I didn’t think about family traditions and nostalgia while planning that wedding. This time I am using my mom and dad’s cake topper from their wedding in 1959.
Both of our parents have been married for over 50 years. We would like to honor them in some way at our wedding.
Anyway, I have no idea what the point was to all this other than to say that this time is different. It feels different. As stressed out as I am about the wedding and pulling this off as hostess, mom, stepmom, F/T employee, I am sure that I am marrying my best friend and life partner.
Which is a huge improvement over last time.