I am rarely speechless, and FBE has left me speechless. We broke away this morning at the airport, him going one direction and me the other. Both teary eyed. OMG. I walked to my plane and couldn’t even breathe. FBE lives 1000 miles away and we decided to meet in the middle. We each got a hotel room and stayed in a pretty swanky place. He arrived before I did and the plan was to meet in the lobby. I was a wreck, a huge bundle of nerves.
Seriously, the last time I saw him was at my HS graduation on June 20, 1982. We had a fight the night before, a bad one, and had broken up. I was leaving early for vacation and college the next week and I just did NOT want to go to school 2000 miles away with a boyfriend. I saw his sad face, I was a wreck at graduation, and thought I would find him afterward and tell him I was sorry. I never found him afterwards. He said that he was such a wreck and didn’t want to ruin my day and so he left early. We went to separate graduation parties and I heard he tied one on and had a bad night. Mine wasn’t much better.
From that last vision to meeting him in a hotel lobby 30 years later, almost to the day, was unreal. I thought I was going to puke on the hotel shuttle. I had no idea if I was going to burst into tears or flee or freak completely out and clam up when I saw him. Can happen.I get out of the shuttle, walk in, my eyes adjust and I see this beautiful man standing smiling at me about 15 yards away. I started LAUGHING. That I did not predict. I felt JOY. He was beaming at me and I was laughing. We hugged and it felt weird, I won’t lie. I have hardly had a full body hug from a man that didn’t feel like Stanley in 15 years. He took my bag and held my hand and I went and checked in.
I will be honest here, I did not use my room.
I discovered Ho-like qualities in myself.
So, I’m checking in and we are beaming at each other and he is holding my hand and telling me he can’t stand them calling me by my married name and we are giggling. Then we went into my room and set my stuff down.Ok. So, This is a beautiful italian man. In 1982, he had a head full of very dark John Travolta sort of hair with some Al Pacino thrown in. Kind of this
Now it is more this
|actually with his sunglasses on, it is exactly that. Yeah Me!|
And when he grinned at me, his eyes crinkled up and sparkled just like they used to and his smile was just the same and I felt 17 years old again. So, we are both nervous and he asks if we should go find a quiet restaurant. We walk and hold hands and I am acutely aware of my flip flops flopping on the floor and I am eying him out of the corner of my eye. We sit down and have a nice conversation, hold hands across the table and giggle like kids. He tells me about 20 times that I am just like I was (he is a sweet liar) and that I am the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen and I am thinking, “I wonder how his neck smells.”So, after dinner we go back to his room, just to check it out, ya know, and he asks if he could kiss me and he held my face in both hands and touched my lips to his. Then HE JERKS BACK and scares me to death! He starts saying, “Oh My God, the tremble! OMG, I forgot the tremble! Your lip trembled like it did back when and I had a total flash!” It took a few minutes to calm him down.
I have never had a man tell me my lips tremble so I’m wondering if he has the wrong girl. I don’t think so though. Anyway, there was kissing involved. And use your imagination. Mmmmmmmmm.
I’m not as shy as I used to be.
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Now. I will skip details here, but it was absolutely odd being on a date, kissing, yada yada with a man not Stanley. Then I got over it. QUICK. FBE is very dear to me and the years fell away and it was like riding a bike with him. He was the first boy that kissed me for real and all the rest so I will say that there is a physical imprint or memory for sure. In case anyone doubts that exists.
I will update about yesterday and last night tomorrow. He is an excellent writer, avid reader, and has an exquisite use of language. He said many beautiful things to me that I can’t wait to share.
I am home now and waiting for the kids to come in from FL. Oh how I missed them. I can’t wait to smell their necks either.
Thanks for your patience. Oh, and screw Stanley.