I just re read my post and I definitely think I could write smut and make a billion dollars. The downside is I don’t have a great imagination and so when my real life story runs out I would be in a heap of trouble. FBE is my muse! Hope he is okay with being reduced to a sex object.Hmmm, where was I? This is so odd, but I swear I had sort of an out of body experience. At some point, he pulled me into his arms and I rolled onto his chest. I found this spot that was like sleeping on a Carebear. Total comfort and peace. The air in the room changed and I saw stars, I swear.
See, I never slept or even rested on Stanley’s chest. It wasn’t comfortable, I swear I could feel every bone. Also, he couldn’t sleep if we were touching so maybe that made me even more uncomfortable.
I was so comfortable and at peace I felt every drop of tension leave my body. That is a rare occasion people.
|How have I never had this experience?|
His response? “I think we are having a holy moment” so it wasn’t just me! (Btw, I was thinking, “did he just say ‘holy moment’? Stanley couldn’t grasp that concept with 4 ft bbq tongs). We spent hours in that position, talking and holding hands. And talking and talking and talking. 30 years is a lot of time to fill in. Even though we have had a ton of emails, texts and phone calls over the past few months, there was a ton to catch up on. For instance, in filling in the years, FBE got up several times and paced. Now, conversations about boyfriends in my 20’s are off limits. We never left the hotel honestly. We did make ourselves get up and find food on several occasions and walked around the property. Holding hands. Flip flopping. The time FLEW. On Friday night, we got dressed up and went to a fancy dinner in a restaurant next to the hotel. Candlelight and all. We held hands and giggled. I find myself marveling at this 47 year old boy/man. Where there was a boy is a man now. There is hair on that chest. I got overwhelmed at one point hearing the valet calling him “Mr. __________”. Also, just things like him pulling out his credit card made me stop! It isn’t like he had a credit card in 1982. It is hard to explain how odd it is putting those years back together.We had a few belly laughs. Like when he said, “Wow! This is the first time we have ever made out in a bed!” And sitting in a restaurant and passing a pair of reading glasses between us to see the menu. My times have changed.
We started getting sad during dinner. There were lapses in the conversation where sadness crept in because our time was dwindling. He kept assuring me that he would do everything in his power to keep us moving forward. Several times he said, “What is a 1000 miles when we have conquered 30 years? We can do this.”
I just stared.
He said, “I’ve felt this way twice in my life and both times it was with you.”
I just stared.
He said, “I think that the answer to every question I have ever had in my life, is you.”
I just stared.
I can honestly say that after Stanley
an emotionally available man totally freaks me out.
I have an errand to run. I’ll be back.