I have written in the past a couple of blogs about this year’s election even though this site is not exactly a political venue.
There are just too many similarities between the 2016 presidential election and an abusive marriage for me to stay silent. I have felt compelled to speak up and let others know that Donald Trump’s behavior is so familiar to victims of domestic abuse that victims are getting re-traumatized simply by watching the news.
It’s no wonder. Watching Trump prance around the stage at the second debate, snorting and finger waving, was like watching an abuser get into an argument with his victim. Same facial expressions. Same mannerisms. Same sense of domination and win at all costs. What some have called the scorched-earth approach.
Well, that is what victims of domestic abuse experiences every time their abuser lashes out.
And while the abuser is burning down the house, he doesn’t realize until the last minute that he and his family is about to die. It’s traumatizing.
In my early posts, I wrote about my fear that Trump would be elected and become the head of our proverbial family and that terrified me. I’ve lived with an abusive personality, a bully. It is horrible and nothing I recommend, no matter how fantastic he might seem.
Abusers are excellent at painting the picture that they know how to cut through the crap and get things done. But, they don’t. They are faking it when they say they can. My fear is that if Trump is elected, we are all in for a horrible experience, life changing.
But, since my last post, the Trump tape has played and women by the millions are expected to react with their vote against another sexist bully and alleged sexual abuser.
After watching that tape and the news coverage that followed, I am sickened through and through. I’ve had enough. I am going to run to the voting booth on the first day of early voting and cast my vote against Trump. And I’m proud of it.
It is time that those of us who are tired of the “boy talk” as it has been described so incorrectly speak loudly with their vote. It’s time that decent men and women say enough is enough. It is not OK to treat anyone with such disrespect. There will be consequences. We need to rise up those who inspire our better selves, unite people with higher callings and protect the vulnerable.
Blaming victims or immigrants or the impoverished is not the answer, ever.
I don’t ever expect Trump to understand any of this. I believe his personality won’t ever allow him to feel compassion or contrition. I’ve lived with a bully and bullies are hardwired to protect their own, often twisted, reality, at all costs.
But, I do speak to those who believe that Trump is the answer to fixing what is wrong with our society. He says things that might work, sometimes he is even charming. He says things sometimes that have a kernel of truth. But, I have lived with that type of person and it can get scary in a hurry.
Please don’t risk your future betting on someone you think must have all the answers because he seems so confident. Under that exterior is likely deep insecurity that drives every decision and causes chaos.
The risks are high yet the rewards are not. Stirring up Washington by throwing a bomb into the mix will only create more chaos and set our society back.
We’ve made monumental advances to be celebrated. We have two women on the center stage running for president! We have just completed eight years of our first African American president. Trump’s wife is an immigrant. These are positives.
It is not time to diminish sexual assault, sexism, racism and all the other “isms.” Our country has worked too hard to rid our world of such things.
For me, this vote is also an opportunity to cast a vote for justice. I am glad I have the opportunity to cast a vote against misogyny.
I haven’t always had such a chance. I may have had to deal with misogyny in my marriage, in family court and in many social settings without any way to stop it. But on election day, I will be adding my vote to the millions who will say “No More” to outdated male privilege that allows some to commit crimes against others.
I hope we in the majority, by a landslide. I hope that we have evolved as a society that we will condemn this together. And please forgive me for the political blog. If I have offended you, I’m sorry. I really am.