The more time we spend together the more I know we should be apart. I can’t believe I feel this way but I’m grateful for the way it has turned out.
When my husband and I separated a year ago I was devastated, depressed and inconsolable but as they say, time heals. We no longer have the daily physical bonding but we still have daily encounters. It’s because of our financial circumstances. We still have to get along.
Because of circumstances beyond my control we share a vehicle, we shared a cell phone plan, we shared a business and we shared a bank account. We’ve slowly separated these things and we’ve had our big yelling and crying episodes but we’ve managed to remain civil because we have no choice. In a way I’m glad. It’s given me the opportunity to see him in a light that I had not seen him before.
The hot and heavy romance that blinded me is long gone, and the loyalty that made me stand by my man is gone now too. What I see and hear is that his way of life and his ideas for the future are nothing that I want to be a part of. It actually makes the entire process of coming to an end more tolerable.
I know this isn’t going to be the case for many couples because the anger in younger people is so devastating, especially when there are children involved and when there’s infidelity. But in my case, in this third marriage, at my age of 50, and with grown kids it’s a great way to end an era.
From my point of view, this man made me feel wanted, sexy and smart. He enjoyed my company and my willingness to change at a moment’s notice for the good of our future. What others saw was that he took advantage of me, my good nature and my talents. I don’t know what the truth is but I know that as the years went on, he no longer wanted to spend time with me and he didn’t want me to be apart of many things that he was involved with.
It made me make decisions about my future and our future and he didn’t agree. Had he taken advantage of me all those years and I didn’t see it? That’s how my friends and family feel. Instead, I choose to remember the fun and the romance and everything I learned along the way. But, at this point I also now see their point.
We are almost to where we don’t have to see each other daily. But this time spent together has been eye opening. The more time I spent with him, not being his romantic partner the more I was able to “hear him.” I have spent a lot of time listening to his ideas and day-to-day life style and I know that it’s time to move on. It’s time to take charge of myself. It’s the end of our era and in every sense of the word it’s closure.