Women often are heavily vested in all of their relationships. The relationship with their parents, children and spouses. Women are also the most vested in the relationships they have with co-workers and employers. Why? We care about others’ well-being more than our own. We want others to be all right. This is our nurturing instinct. It is why we are moms.
If you are reading this article, you already have a suspicion that something is not quite right in your relationship. This is the first sign:
1. If you feel it in your gut, just a little nagging suspicion that something is different. Women are intuitive. We are usually able to sense something is up. Don’t ignore this feeling. It’s your inner guidance making you aware of things you can’t see yet.
2. He now has a new routine. Let’s say, for example, every day at 6:30 pm he has an important appointment or somewhere he has to be at the exact same time no matter what you may have planned and it can’t be missed. Don’t sleep on this. He is picking someone up from work or maybe the metro train station.
3. You are glad he is home less often.This is a major clue. If you are relieved that he now has a life outside of your relationship that keeps him away more than he is home, there is a problem. If you are unhappy when he is around, you are probably settling for a mediocre relationship for the sake of saying you have one. If he is now sleeping on the couch and only visits for five minutes of sex,”Houston we have a problem.”
4. He doesn’t support your dreams. You have a big dream. You want to be a singer on Broadway, open a family daycare, write a novel, or be an entrepreneur and start your own business. Whatever it is, he tells you you’ll never do that, you don’t know what you’re doing or you can’t do that. Any form of no means he’s not supportive. There should be a hell yes!! Let’s do this, no matter what. The dream is the two of you are one and your dreams should be supported by him.
5. He has no trust in you. He is insecure about his relationship with you. If you go to the store, he calls or text you 10 times to see where you are. If you leave work and he’s waiting outside, but you drove. He calls you 10 times during your work day to see what you are doing. This type of behavior borders on stalking. This is his issue and not yours. No matter how much you down play your beauty or sexuality, you need to know that in his mind he has a completely different interpretation of what is going on. His imagination has already played out the scenario he believes to be true. He may even accuse you of flirting, cheating, or having someone in the house when he’s not there. You cannot win this battle, so please do not try. He may even down play it for a while, but he will never trust or believe you. To him it is real and growing.
The purpose of a relationship is to be better and happier in the relationship together than you are if you were alone. You should be growing and gaining in all areas of your life together. If possible seek counseling, but if you experience any of these signs, pay attention and be aware. Love is a joyous adventure and should only be a part of your life not a form of completion. You are awesome, you are beautiful, you are funny, and you should live your dreams now because it makes you happy. You deserve the best partner because you are the best. You don’t have to settle for anything less than the best.
Live, laugh, and love more in the moment.