Dating again after a long-term marriage can be scary because you have to figure out how to step back into the dating game and try to hit it “out of the park.” I don’t know about you but dating was never something I enjoyed doing, as matter of fact I despised “the dating game.”
Having to repeat the same process over and over again is something I personally never enjoyed, not because I didn’t like meeting new people but because the process was so repetitive, and all I was looking for at the time was a great guy to settle down with.
If you are dating again, in this crazy world we live in you know that find a great guy isn’t easy. If you are new to the dating game just the “game” itself can stir up anxiety and apprehension. Here are 4 tips for those that are walking back into the dating world all over again after a long hiatus:
1. Heal and Learn to Love Yourself
If you haven’t done so already, take the time to mourn the death of your marriage and take the time to know yourself all over again. The person you are when you are in a relationship and the person you are when you are not are two different people sometimes. Others tend to bring out the best or worst in us depending on how they treat us. So take time for you before even considering dating again
Dating is challenging, even for those that have not spent the last couple of years with the same person. It won’t be easy to adjust to life after divorce let alone attempting to connect with another person and create a new relationship while still healing from the last one.
2. Avoid Rebound Relationships
Yes I said it, the dreaded rebound. The best way to know if you are in a rebound relationship, is to take the time and examine the relationship. Are you with this person because you see qualities of someone you can see yourself with long term or are you there because you are lonely? Do you enjoy the same things, do you even care to know about the person, etc?
Is he recently divorced? Could he be using you to cover his own loneliness?
3. Take it Slow
Don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself, just take your time and enjoy dating again. After being in a long-term relationship for so long, you are probably no longer sure of what it is you want in a relationship. So, meet new people, have fun, and get to know yourself again. Even if things do not become serious with those you meet, you may make some life long friends.
After ending a long term relationship, rushing into another one, may not be the best idea. Take the time to understand who you are now, and what you want out of your next long term relationship. The best way to do that is to date different people.
4. Try New Things
Allow yourself to try new experiences with new people. Things you have always wanted to do, but may have been afraid of trying. It will help you to loosen up and make the dating experience that much better.
Go dancing, if you’ve never been, or travel, allow yourself to experience new things.
Why not explore that bucket list, and get fearless and try skydiving, or white water rafting. The sky is the limit, it is a great way to connect with somebody as well.
You can look at the glass half empty or half full. Walk into this new journey with a fresh prospective and you may find that the best years of life just began.