He chose this. I wanted to make it work. I tried to make it work. Counseling, therapy. I gave it everything I had. He just refused. The mistress, his career, alcohol, addiction, mental illness… whatever, he chose over his family it doesn’t matter. The pain is the same.
I’ve heard it so many times. Every single time I hear He Chose this. It wasn’t my choice. I cringe. I want to jump up and give the woman a hug and hope in a few months she is singing a different song. I hope in just a few short months she has grown stronger. Strong enough to be where I am today. Allow me to share a few crazy thoughts with you…
The father of my children, we didn’t ever have a healthy marriage, however there were aspects of failure in our marriage that surprised me. So when I filed for divorce I went through a significant period of feeling like He chose this.
One day as I was irritated at life, struggling trying to make things work, juggling work, single parenting, and more, my frustration at HIS choice was obvious. For some reason, that day, it was like a light bulb turned on. Someone flipped a switch and I realized that every time I said or thought HE chose this, I didnt’ want this, I was giving him the power.
My ex wasn’t even present and I was allowing him to continue the abuse I had endured throughout our marriage. The truth is he did make his choice. He chose to be an abuser, he chose to throw away hundreds of thousands of dollars (but that is a different story for another day), he chose another family over us, he chose a lot of things. However I chose to end the marriage. I chose to say enough was enough. I chose safety for our children and myself. I chose freedom. I chose this. I chose to be stronger and better.
Yes I did try to make it work with him. I gave our marriage much more than I ever should have. However I chose a better life. I don’t regret that choice. Every single morning Ladies, I wake up and the first thought I allow to cross my mind is this is MY life. I choose this life – wonderful, amazing, freedom. I choose me!
He chose to Eff it up. You chose to Fix it. Now choose your attitude. Ying Yang. Are you going to let his negative choice determine your attitude? Are you going to give him the power? OR are you going to take control and live your life? Let all the beauty that is raging inside you out. Be the real you. Don’t waste another minute, not another emotion on him. You are better than that. You are worth more than that. You are beautiful. You are strong. You got this, Girl! Pull your head up, put on your sexy panties and show the world what you are made of.
Like I said at the beginning “What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be”. Our fairy tale – Life isn’t a fairy tale romance. It’s life. Filled with ups and downs. We control our reactions. We control our destiny.
Take away his power ladies. Own your choice. You made the right choice now own it. Say it with pride. Go put on the sexiest outfit you own, your stiletto’s, do your makeup, and hair and go look yourself in the mirror – say with pride…
“THIS is MY CHOICE! I choose freedom, I choose to be better and stronger! I choose me! I am worth it!”