Divorce sucks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s not all peaches and roses and unicorns hopping over rainbows. This shit is real. And sometimes, the real parts suck hairy donkey balls! Seriously. Why did I have to EVER get married to begin with? And why in the world is it so much easier to get married than it is to get divorced? Shouldn’t it be the complete opposite?
Marriages may last longer if you had to hire mean, balls-to-the-wall attorneys PRIOR to even getting the approval needed to be issued a marriage license. I think if people had to fork over $10,000 to an attorney before getting hitched, then they might not want to do it, therefore fewer marriages which would result in fewer divorces. Problem solved.
But in reality, getting divorced happens and it hurts. It hurts financially and most of all emotionally. Everyone involved gets hurt. I’ve never met a couple who gleefully skipped out of the courthouse after their divorce was final, wishing each other the best, and promising to stay in touch. Doesn’t happen, so don’t be fooled thinking that things are going to work out like that for you, because in all likelihood, they will not.
I was the fool and fooled myself into thinking that a divorce would be easy. Well…not easy, but easier than it actually turned out to be. When I filed, the only thing I wanted was a date that the divorce would be final. I was done and wanted the whole thing to be over with pronto. Then came reality…
The man I had married 12 years ago was NOT the same man that I was now divorcing. He walked out on us (I have 2 little girls), was extremely angry that I had filed for divorce even though HE had left, and now he wanted to play games. So the harassment began. He would constantly text me demanding to know who I was talking to, who I was seeing, where we were at all times, etc. He even made up stories that “someone” he ran into at the store had heard that I was seeing another guy. When I demanded a name, he said “I don’t remember their name, but they know you.” Of course they do…I’m famous! Idiot.
Next came the empty threats. “I’m going to take the girls away from you and leave you with nothing.” “You’re gonna be sorry you ever filed.” “You F**KED this up, not me, and you will regret it.”
And finally…the war. And by war, I mean WAR! He was demanding a custody trial by jury and that was it as far as I was concerned. He wanted a war? He was about to get the biggest war of his life with the biggest bitch that had ever walked this planet. He could mess with me all he wanted…but this had gone too far. He had no other card to play and this was his last big move.
And it didn’t work out so well for him. When his lawyer told him that he would have to have $10,000 up front for the trial, the dickhead actually sent me a text message that said “how am I supposed to come up with $10,000 for a trial?”
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? He wanted to try and take my girls away from me and now he wanted sympathy because he couldn’t afford it? How stupid can he be?
Needless to say, we settled during our mediation which was exactly one week before the trial. We fought and argued for 8 straight hours, only two of which were spent on the girls…the other 6 hours were about money and material items. THAT’S how important the custody battle was to him and it’s sad to say, but I really felt like I bought my children for $16,500. That’s the amount on the check that I had to write to my ex that day…and I would’ve paid double that if I’d had to.
One week later, I met my attorney at the courthouse. My divorce was final and my ex didn’t show. Overall…the best day I had had in over a year and I’m still thankful to my attorney for being so great to me.
Don’t be a fool when you are heading into a divorce. Read everything you can get your hands on that has to do with divorce and ask a million questions. But don’t for one second think that the person you married all those years ago is this still there. They aren’t…and you aren’t the same person either.