Tinder, the popular app for smartphones is quickly gaining a reputation as being the only true “free” dating site or app on the market. While it does offer you the option to upgrade for a monthly fee, creating a profile, uploading photos and a short bio and either swiping right to “like” a guy or swiping left to “pass” is free.
Tinder is great for women who are just getting back out there to practice their flirting and relearn how to talk to men skills when dating after a divorce. And figure out new things, like how much to talk about your ex and your kids and when to mention the fact you usually are in bed by nine.
And it’s all done from the comfort of your sofa or bed and without having to get dressed up and find a sitter!
As you start to swipe right or left on Tinder, you may notice a pattern emerge and suddenly you realize that all the guys you see fall into one of these 11 categories:
1. The Hook-Ups
Considering this was the original reason behind the app’s creation, it’s no surprise that most guys are simply looking for a good time. Don’t be shocked when after the initial “hello” you get asked to get involved in some pretty serious sexting or casual hook-ups. No judging if that’s what you’re into, just remember to be safe and use protection, something you might not have had to think about for a while.
2. Single Dads
You’re a single mom, so you understand how time is limited. Is it any shock that single dads are also online looking for a match? Some just want friendship, some want a hook-up, and some are looking for the real deal. Be prepared to see photos of their children since most men aren’t as paranoid about their kids’ photos being seen by everyone online. And be ready for the “I have my kids that evening” when you talk about meeting in real life. It might not be true love, but at least you know one man gets how hard this parenting gig is.
3. The Fetishes
Just when your faith in the male race is restored, you’ll meet the guys who are into the freaky. Some of them will admit it on their profile…” I like leather” or “I have weird tastes” are key phrases you’ll see. Some will wait until you’re talking one on one to reveal their obsession with feet, role-playing, and wearing ladies’ underwear…that they will swear looks better on them than you.
4. The “Married but Looking for A Girlfriend/Good Time”
The fact these guys admit on their profile they are already married might blow your mind. Some even go as far to claim their wives are down for it. Threesomes, open marriages, and the polyamorous combine into way too many profile pics of cute guys with their arms around a gal, and yet claiming to be lonely tonight.
5. The Ones with No Profile Picture
It may be of their dog, their favorite sports team logo, or no profile picture at all. Many guys refuse to show what they look like. An accidental swipe right of one of these will inevitably end up with you getting a message from them asking why you only have two photos of yourself on your own profile. Dude, at least I showed my face…where’s yours?
6. The Trying to Be Funny, But Comes Out as Stupid
This is a problem in real life as well. We all know men tend to think certain things are humorous while we ladies know they actually are not. The stupid clichés, dumb jokes, borrowed lines from popular movies…they don’t just say it, they will also type it. You will also find a huge number of profiles with pictures of guys in drag, wearing big hats and attempting some stupid stunt you know ended up with them in the ER. What can I say but they’re men; and they haven’t changed a bit, even online.
7. The Ones You Realize You Know IRL
Speaking of IRL, you’ll swipe right on a guy only to realize afterward he’s your kids’ teacher, your co-worker’s brother or the cable guy who came out last month to fix your box. This will give you pause, make you examine each profile a little closer and realize you probably know a lot of these guys. Especially if you live in a rural area. Some you might still want to swipe right on, but proceed with caution and be prepared to hear “maybe we shouldn’t since your kid is in my class/I’m related to your boss” line. This will make you want to pursue them even more, because how many honest men are out there?!? It’s like they are all either taken, gay, or too honest for online dating!
8. The Workaholics
They might not have kids, but they have a job and therefore are too busy to get out in the world and find gals, so they are looking for love online. Give these guys props for admitting the job comes first, and if you do make a match with one be ready to hear “this is the busiest part of my day/week” when they don’t reply right away. These can be potentially good matches, as they are more likely to understand when you have to say, “this is my busiest part of my day/week” yourself when your kids have you running all over from games to parties to playdates.
9. The “no kids/no drugs/no STDs”
You will be shocked at this simple phrase on so many profiles. Basically, it’s his way of telling you he has no commitments, no past history and is safe to proceed with. Just don’t take this phrase as a pass on using protection or avoiding the discussion of past partners. In this day and age, everyone should have “the talk”, no matter how old we are or how uncomfortable it will always be.
10. The Lives in Another State/Area
Tinder uses your current location to determine how far away your potential matches are. This will show up in miles, not the exact location. Which means be prepared to find a guy who may seem close but is several hours away. This is especially important in smaller states or rural areas. Nothing like finding a great guy, only to find out he lives so far away it will never be anything other than a connection via technology.
11. The Nice Guys
There are some guys out there who are looking for love in the wrong place, in this case, an app designed for hook-ups. These nice guys are often just like you, starting over or trying to find a new way to meet someone special to grow close to. Take heart that even after you’ve swiped left or “unmatched” on guys you thought had potential but turned out to be duds because they fell into one of the first ten categories, it is possible to find the one or two guys that make it all worth it.
And if you can do all this without having to worry about your hair being washed or your clothes not being stained, even better. So start swiping, and above all have fun.