After two divorces, it became clear I was attracted to the wrong type of guy. First, I was the damsel in distress – that marriage crashed and burned. The second time I decided to be in charge, my way or the highway, failure again – this time as a single motherless mom. But, both relationships were an opportunity for growth and healing.
Thus I took on 15 years of study & began coaching men and women from around the world on experiencing true intimacy. I have learned one potent key: every relationship is an opportunity for growth and healing, yet it’s up to US if we step up, grow up and soar.
How a Relationship can Promote Growth and Healing
So, the good news is you’ll be attracted to someone who is mirroring what’s going on inside you… if you are empty, needy, seeking validation, you will find a mirror to trigger your wounds so you can heal from Mom or Dad.
If you don’t blame this partner for triggering you, and instead do your work to forgive, appreciate yourself, acknowledgment your gifts no matter what anyone else thinks, and start to celebrate the uniqueness of you… you’ll feel confident, fabulous and in love with YOU!
Even if you choose to bless and release this relationship, it was the catalyst for you to come home to the magnificence of you!!! So you can amicably break up with gratitude!
Or, as you’ve taken full responsibility for your growth, maybe your partner does too and you both shift into a healthy partnership where two conscious people, dissolved of judgment and blame, can adore one another for the unique contributions you offer, and you soar into more and more possibilities!
So turn off your ‘failure’ sign, my friend, that you’re attracted to the wrong type. You’ve done a PERFECT job of attracting the most elegant situation in which to grow, heal, shift and transform into the Best You!
Relationships are a Journey
Whether or not this partner comes along for phase 2, it isn’t a reflection of your worth! So, celebrate the journey of relationship and stay open to receiving true intimacy, celebration and fulfillment because you’re taking the time for loving yourself from the inside out.
Above all else, stay true to yourself. Despite doing the work, being in allowance, and staying focused, we may find ourselves in a sea of blame if we believe we are going in the right direction only to hit a wall again. Remember, it takes two people to be in a place of rawness, a place of growth, and a place of reflection. If you have done the work and your partner has not, the relationship will fail.
Is there a way to avoid this, no. Are there signs to help you navigate from this situation, again – no. Take these moments as a test, a test to see if you have truly done the inner work to walk away when the signs are there, to know your self-worth and not settle for what you believe is right for you (what you believe you deserve) because of who you were.
Trust the journey, believe in yourself, and keep doing the work. It isn’t a magical Band-Aid that once applied, all wounds are magically healed. We must keep doing the work every day, reflect within every lesson, and remind ourselves that no matter what happened in our past (whether it was a minute ago, a year ago, a lifetime ago) we are who we CHOOSE to be and no one can define us.
If there is ever a moment that, even for a minute, you start to question if you are worth it, remember this: You are still breathing, your heart is still beating, and you are still capable of doing whatever you choose to do. What does this mean? There is still time and no one can take the sheer belief of “possibilities” away from you.