The end of my marriage was a shock. My ex-husband was a pro at having me believe his crazy stories. He always had some get rich quick plan. I always rooted for him.
I hoped that something would stick and we would be able to live a normal life. Finally, I woke up and realized we were not normal.
He was crazy. He did and said crazy things and when I had decided he needed to change he dumped me.
This put me at a disadvantage because I was without a car. We had been planning this great idea of moving to the Florida Keys. We had down-sized to one vehicle. But reality hit and I still needed to get to work. I told him that he would have to drive me until I could afford to buy a car. It wasn’t going to be long but he would have to suck it up and pick me up.
It wasn’t ideal but it worked. It was awkward and yet oddly familiar. I loved my freedom and the strength I had gained. It reminded me of how it was before we got married. I had my place and he had his. We both worked. We had little animosity at this point. He was going through a midlife crisis and I was working towards a future.
During our short rides from my apartment to my job, I chatted happily about how great things were going and the goals I had made for myself. As he listened to me his eyes twinkled with that “maybe I can still take advantage of her” look. I listened to him and for the first time I actually heard him. I wasn’t trying to impress him anymore and I could actually hear the crazy things that he would come up with.
One day he said, “ya know, I still might want to work things out with you.” “Really,” I responded. I couldn’t argue. I needed a ride. So, I told him it was a possibility even though there was no way in hell that was happening. He said, “It would have to be a long time from now and not here. We just wouldn’t work in this town.” I thought to myself, that’s odd because we’ve worked in this town for 14 years. He said, “I’m thinking about moving to the Keys and you could come with me.” Oh wow, he’s crazy. Then it hit me.
Translation: “I have another fish on the line and I can’t let her know that I might want to work it out with you.” OMG, this is the same line he used on me at the very beginning of our relationship. How could I have fallen for it? At least I’ll never do that again. He dropped me off at work and I had a good laugh about it.
Shortly after that I needed to use the car overnight so I picked him up for work the next morning. He wasn’t waiting outside when I pulled up so I parked and waited. When he didn’t appear I got out of the car and went to the door. I knocked. He answered and invited me in. He said, “I was hoping we could have sex.” I tried not to laugh. I actually thought about it. He had lost so much weight from not eating my cooking and I was curious to see what he looked like naked. Luckily we didn’t have time. I really had to get to work. Instead we took a coffee to go. He dropped me off at work and I had another good laugh.
Things were fine for a few more weeks and he was doing well at work. I decided to ask him if he would help me out on a couple of bills. He said, “I can’t right now. I have to live.” Ooookaaaay, I thought, I’ll work it out myself. I wondered what he was spending his money on. Of course I had my suspicions.
Shortly after that, I got in the car and smelled cigarettes. I said, “who was smoking in here.” He said, “Me, I started smoking.” My reply, “Are you joking? Why?” His reply, “It’s cheaper than drinking.” LMFAO
Translation: At 53-years-old, he spends all his money at a titty bar drinking $6.00 drinks one after another and a $7.00 pack of cigarettes will curb that bad habit. Now that makes perfect sense. I can surely see why he couldn’t help me out with a few bills. My bad.
Well he might be spending his money on woman, booze and cigarettes but I was saving mine. I told him I was almost ready to buy myself a car and the realization that I would not continue needing him took a fast toll. He had to find a way to control me.
As he drove me to work a day or two later he was rubbing it in my face that he had a party to go to and my schedule was going to be a problem for him. He said, “You’re cramping my style.”
Seriously? How old are you?
I told him I felt bad and that it wouldn’t be much longer. I was shopping for a new car. I asked him what the great party was. As I suspected it was a birthday party for a 25-year-old stripper. He made a big deal of having a “friend” help him drop off the car to me so I could drive myself home and he could attend this grand event. Honestly, she could have cared less if he made it on time or made it at all. It was funny and sad that this was all he had to throw at me.
The following week he took me car shopping and I bought my own car. I paid cash for it and happily drove myself home. And true to form, two weeks later he got a company car and sold ours. Are you kidding me? Not only did he sell it, but he didn’t offer me one cent of the profit. That’s ok, I can play this game.
As soon as I found out he had some money in his pocket, I sent him a text. I asked him if he was ready to sign divorce papers. I would split the uncontested, no fault filing fee with him. How could he say no? We both knew he had money in his pocket from the sale of our car. He agreed to make the divorce a reality and together we went to the courthouse to file the documents.
While digging through my purse, I realized I had forgotten my reading glasses and he was going to have to fill out all the information for the clerk of court. No big deal. As we went through the information we came to the paragraph where the wife can choose to change her last name. The craziest thing my ex said to me during our divorce was when I told him I would be taking my former name back. He didn’t skip a beat he just said, “How do you spell that?”