How do you know when you’ve found a “keeper?” How can you tell when you’re ready to move from being a dating partner to a monogamous relationship partner? You need to come from a place of strength — not insecurity. Here are 10 factors that need to be in place before knowing you’re moving in the right direction with your someone special.
1. Do you feel “valued” in the relationship?
Are you coming from a place of joy? Feeling respected and appreciated for who you are? Are you confident he believes you’re a special person in his life and not just a dating partner?
2. Are you comfortable being yourself?
When you’re with him do you feel your authentic self with no need to change to fit his demands or expectations? Do you feel happy, safe and relaxed around him and trust that he is who he says he is as well?
3. Is your time together really enjoyable?
Do you have fun together most of the time? Do you look forward to seeing him and feel he is invested in your relationship and spending quality time with you? Is your time together free of emotional drama and game playing?
4. Are you hooked on more than just romance?
Do you feel you know his heart and mind because you talk and share freely? Does he reveals his inner thoughts and feelings without being probed and enjoys talking to you about your interests as well as his. Is your time together not just about flirting and sex?
5. Is he emotionally available? Respectful?
Does he let you know his hopes and dreams? Does he confide in you and share his insecurities — and can you do the same? Is he eager to support you without being controlling or manipulative? Is he able to show his true self to you, including weaknesses and vulnerabilities?
6. Is he your sincere best friend?
Is he a good listener and sincerely cares about what happens in your life? Do you really “know” one another and like what you see? Are you beyond wondering whether he is “the one” and feel confident you’ve found a valuable relationship partner?
7. Do your family and friends like him?
Do those closest to you approve of him and believe you’ve made a good choice? Does he make special effort to get along with your family and friends because they mean a lot to you? Is he respectful around them?
8. Does he keep his agreements – and is dependable?
Can you trust he’ll be there when you need him – during the bad times as well as the good? When you disagree or argue (which is inevitable at times) does he show the ability to compromise and find resolution? Does he avoid petty disagreements and the need to be right at all costs?
9. Do you feel a synchronicity between you both?
Do you share similar values, beliefs and quirks? Do you enhance each other in ways that make you feel comfortable, not smothered? Can you both pursue different interests and paths without feeling separate or insecure? Does your connection feel natural on a deep emotional level?
10. Do you share a common vision of your future together?
Does he consider you to be “a couple” and talks about the future together? Do you discuss being part of one another’s lives while still free to pursue your own dreams? Do you both see a long-term relationship as a viable option or the future?
It takes more than physical attraction to ensure you’re in a lasting love relationship. Your partner should share enough similarities in beliefs, goals, likes and personality yet have a uniqueness that makes him special to you. If you’ve found these ten qualities in place, you’ve very likely found a good relationship partner with whom to share a bright future!
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a Dating & Relationship Coach as well as co-author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! and True Love At Last for Women Over 40: Answers You Need for the Relationship You Want! Her Create Your Ideal Relationship Kit and free ebook on Smart Dating Advice for Women Over 40: Answers to Your Most-Asked Questions are available at www.womendatingafter40.com.
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