I keep seeing something online lately that really bothers me. I enjoy reading about celebrities and the far-fetched tabloid headlines, not that I care what is going on in every aspect of their lives, I am far from obsessed with it, but I enjoy seeing photos and what is considered the latest fashion trends, etc. Plus, it is hard not to see all the hype, headlines, and photos when browsing other things.
I will admit, I was a little bummed when I read about Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert’s split. I’m not a huge country music fan, but both are great entertainers and seem to be genuine, down-to-earth people. Plus, I may or may not have a slight crush on Blake and he may or may not be my future second husband. Just throwing that out there.
I am also a Gwen Stefani fan. I love her music and her sense of style. So when I read that Blake and Gwen are dating, of course, I was saddened to learn he is off the market, but in my opinion, they make a unique pair and I am happy to hear they have both moved on from their divorces.
But what bothers me about their relationship is that it seems Gwen has conformed to Blake’s country lifestyle, which has been dubbed “Blake-ified”, by wearing camouflage, overalls, faux-mud-splattered pants, baseball caps, even her kids are sporting the country apparel. Where is Gwen’s rocker style and what other things have changed as a result of this new relationship?
Is Gwen Stefani altering her lifestyle for a man?
It appears Gwen has changed some things about herself and yet Blake has remained the same. Has he “Gwen-ified”? If so, the tabloids have failed to publicize it.
When we meet someone new, of course, we want to learn everything there is to know about them and spend as much time with them as possible. It is natural to want to embrace one another’s interests, lifestyle, and hobbies, but when does it go too far before we lose our own identity?
This happens more than we care to admit. I’ve seen it and I’ve done it. Gwen is very famous, talented, and beautiful. She has no reason to alter or change for someone else. But she is also a woman who has gone through a very public and painful divorce. And we as women who have experienced the pain of a divorce, we become vulnerable for a moment in time.
No matter our social status, no matter how beautiful or how talented, we all want to have that validation, and to feel wanted and needed. So, as a result, we may dress differently, or take an interest in a hobby we may not have expressed any interest in before, all to impress someone. I did not say it is a good thing, but it happens.
What great lengths do we go to impress someone?
I have been there. I fell in love, got married, and moved away. Over the years and without even realizing it, I changed who I was and lost my identity as an individual. Compromise ceased to exist, and I discovered my interests fell by the wayside. I made things easy for him; he did not have to compromise, as I had conformed to his lifestyle. That is my fault. So, unfortunately, our marriage was one-sided and the rest is history.
Do I regret my relationship and my marriage with my ex-husband? No, of course not. But I learned a hard reality about myself and any future relationship with someone else; communication and compromise are extremely important, and I will not conform and take it so far as to completely change who I am just to make a relationship work.
Be yourself. If you are in a relationship, enjoy one another. And by all means, compromise but do not conform.
More From DivorcedMoms:
- Disillusionment: Did Divorce Change Who I Am?
- Changing Your Style… Changing Your Life? Updating Your Single Style
- No, I’m Not The Same. Yes, Divorce Changed Me
- Divorce Is A Long, Life-Changing Journey