I love a good Stephen King movie. I have seen them all and sit on the edge of my seat chewing my nails to the bone waiting for the scary parts. The movie Christine about a vintage auto being possessed seems to tell the tale of my life. No sympathy here, this story is about laughter and karma at it’s best.
Since my split from the hubs and our 14 year marriage I have been angry, cried, cussed, thrown things, talked about him way too much, and let him be a part of my mind when he shouldn’t. We have all been there. My poor daughter who lives with me just happens to be the one I vent to.
My best friend decided to dump her up North boyfriend this past weekend. She said she decided to tell him in the car on the way to the airport. The girls we were having brunch with all chimed in their thoughts of how cruel that was to break the news to him in a car and it brought up something from my past. I told them my story and that made me the worst person at the table.
I was engaged to a Navy boy. He loved me, but there were things going on in our relationship I just couldn’t get past. When he went to Virginia Beach for Navy summer camp he stayed with friends he had known for 16 years. He left me a number to call in case I needed him. I called to hear his voice. When the person answered it was the wife of the couple and she acted as though she had no idea who I was.
The fact was she didn’t know who I was. My beloved future husband had been there over a week and failed to mention that he was with me or the fact we were engaged. He had a huge issue with keeping the back door open to future endeavors (other women) and that drove me insane. So much so I ended the relationship, broke off the engagement, tossed the wedding invites in the trash and gave my wedding gown to a consignment shop. He was none too happy because he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. I didn’t break it off until after he returned from his second training mission which was serving in Turkey. I know, I know, bad decision!
I picked him up at the airport. It was like a scene from a movie. He was so handsome, he was also a male model, and he strolled off that plane. An older couple hugged me and thanked me for loving the man who served our country. On the inside I was feeling like total shit for what was about to come. My heart was beating so loud I felt like it was coming out of my chest. Was that because I missed him or because I knew I was going to end the J and S relationship that everyone thought was invincible?
I am impatient as hell. I should have waited until we got home. Both my daughters were at school so I had an empty house for talking. I couldn’t wait though and in that 30-minute car ride I ended us. I am a total piece of shit. It was the cruelest way to end a relationship that I could have done. He was so broken. I was driving and saw him out of the corner of my eye. The hurt, the confusion as I tried to explain why I wanted it to end. I went home and he asked if he could please sleep from the long trip before he packed his things. Of course I agreed. My oldest was fed up with his crap too so when she came home and realized he was still there she was none too pleased, yet understood his wanting to sleep. I felt relieved it was over but years later would see the hurt I caused to him and regret ending us.
Two years ago my ex-husband decided to end our 14-year marriage after I returned from a 10-day trip overseas visiting my oldest daughter. The way he did it? In a 4 hour ride home from an airport. Hmm sound familiar? He gave no explanation, no hug, no apology, no emotion, just we are done. I made him stop so I could vomit in the gas station as my mind was scrambling trying to figure out why. No signs, no arguing, nothing and yet here I was losing the one thing I never thought I would. His mistress obviously helped his decision along that day and I know that. But that car, that damned conversation in the car!
Something that my daughter said this past weekend struck a cord in my brain. When I was explaining the story of my friend and her breakup my daughter said to me, “Wow, Mom, isn’t it amazing that both you and M break up with someone in the car and karma got you back when you too were dumped in a car.”
She was right. Karma found me. After the hurt I caused to J back in 1999, now I was getting back what I sowed and it was not a pleasant feeling. I thought back to the time when my ex-husband and I were in love. Who would have thought that when he was supposed to take a business trip to Cleveland that he would call me at work, take me to lunch, only to go to a jewelers and in the car he would put a diamond ring on my hand. He was embarrassed because the proposal was in the car. I was happy, I didn’t care where it happened. Knowing I was going to spend the rest of my life with him was all that mattered. Not knowing that 13 years later, that a car would be the same place he would end that dream.
That damned car and karma won this battle. The possession of pain of news given inside that vehicle where it felt like once the news came, the doors and windows locked and I was frozen in time. I hated it.
I have learned a valuable lesson in all of this – karma will find you it’s only a matter of time. No one knows how or when it will happen, but it will.
A car is not a place to end a relationship. A person you once loved deserves a place to talk and be given explanations. If someone says to me in the car, we need to talk, I will make them stop because I don’t want that car to forever be the karma in my life ever again.
The ladies I brunched with got over the conversation and went and seen Magic Mike. Who couldn’t smile seeing Channing Tatum dancing in a thong? Thank goodness the movie wasn’t about a car!
- What I’m Thankful For: Making an Amends To My First Love
- Sex and divorce
- How To Avoid Post Breakup Second Thoughts
- Discovering Your Single Identity After Divorce