The most fun I had after my divorce was turning our bedroom into MY bedroom. Whether you remain in the marital home or move to a new place, redoing your bedroom is about as good as “washing that man right out of your hair.” Do it the Peggy Lee way and “drum him out of your dreams.” Or is it nightmares?
Getting rid of any evidence of him in the most personal space you shared together can be your first step toward ridding yourself of him emotionally, altogether and for good.
The problem I was up against was budget. I wanted my bedroom to become a space that reflected me without him but how was I to do that on my limited income? As they say, “where there is a will, there is a way.” And, with a frugal, thrift shopping mother to help I couldn’t lose!
Below are a few tips for you, things I learned when turning our bedroom into one of my own:
Start with new bedding. Once you have that, you can decorate the rest of the room around the patterns and textures of your new bedding. I chose all white bedding which I found on sale at Target. Discount stores, especially if you shop online can be a storehouse for inexpensive home decorating products. Do some digging and you’ll find something perfect and will soon be tossing the old to make room for the new.
Make it Cozy:
I wanted to add a piece of art or furniture that reflected my artistic, whimsical side. At a local thrift store I found a large, overstuffed chair and ottoman. The upholstery was tattered and torn but my crafty and more industrious side came out. I purchased the chair, some inexpensive, paisley print upholstery material and set about recovering that gorgeous chair. I twisted and turned into positions I didn’t know I was capable of but in the end I had a chair and ottoman that sat in the corner of my bedroom and looked perfect. A place for me to put my feet up and read and relax at the end of the day or to get away to when things became too hectic
I planted a jasmine plant in a clay pot, sat it on my Grandmother’s antique night stand that I had painted to match a color in the chair and found many, many hours of relief from the stress of single motherhood in my special corner, in MY bedroom.
Make a Statement With Paint:
I used a muted turquoise paint to brighten up the room. With the white bedding I felt like I woke in a cloud every morning. Here is an advantage you have that I didn’t have those many years ago. Apps, there are apps that allow you to upload a photo of your room and test out different paint colors. There are apps that allow you to mix and match paints and come up with your own unique color palette. With a couple of gallons of paint you can go crazy. Make that special space unique to you, vibrant with color or toned down and muted. Check out the PaintMyPlace app and get started!
Use Sheers to Turn up the Magic:
There were blinds on the window, no drapes or curtains. Plain window treatments were something that pleased him. I wanted something that pleased me and I went for it. I’ve always thought sheer curtains billowing at an open window were like open arms welcoming me in. It’s a romantic notion to have about curtains I know but it was MY room and my notion and I was going with it. I adored the feeling of standing at my bedroom window and having those sheers lightly kiss my cheeks as the breeze blew through.
Sheers billowing in the wind may not be your idea of magic but something is, go find it and add it to YOUR bedroom windows. I think I must have a thing about being enveloped by light, airy fabrics. I’ve just realized that about myself! A fabric fetish maybe?
Set the Atmosphere:
Lastly there is ambiance; things you add that will help you feel the way you want to feel. Small things that will encourage positive emotions when you enter your bedroom. Candles for soft lighting and wonderful scents are a must. Swap out a lamp shade from another room for a perfect over-all lighting effect. A colorful throw across the bottom of your bed or a table runner across your dresser adds texture and a whimsical flair.
I added turquoise and white striped throw pillows to the bed along with a round pillow that had a yellow and white ruffle. The pillow was embroidered with, “You are my sunshine.” It was out of place but appropriate because after years of feeling bankrupt in the self-esteem department I needed a reminder that I was special and deserved special.
For me it turned out to be more than reclaiming and redoing the bedroom I had shared with him. It was an exercise is distracting me from the negative emotions I was experiencing. I channeled those emotions into doing something positive for myself which helped me move forward at a time I felt profoundly stuck in negative emotions.
And his reaction to MY new bedroom was priceless!