Does the thought of coming home to your spouse make you feel good or does it cause a wave of anxiety to wash over your whole body?
If you answered the latter, you may be experiencing signs of an unhappy marriage.
Relationships are supposed to make you feel special. A good partner should bring you comfort and joy, not make you feel unloved, underappreciated, or abused.
If the COVID-19 scare has taught us anything it’s that life is too short to spend it with someone who treats you like garbage.
Are you in an unhealthy relationship?
7 Ways to Know if Your Marriage Will End in Divorce
1. You can’t see anything good anymore
When you first met your spouse you likely thought they were one of the funniest, most charming, most attractive people you had ever met. Their great qualities shone like a lighthouse and you were the ship lost at sea!
The longer you are in an unhappy marriage, the darker your spouse’s great qualities will shine. But their negative qualities? Oh, they’ll shine like the Sun!
If you have tried everything -date nights, marriage therapy, techniques for effective communication – and you can’t seem to change the trajectory of your relationship, it may be a sign that it’s time to call it quits.
2. There is a severe lack of intimacy
Sex is more than a fun way to spend an evening with your spouse. It’s about so much more than teasing and orgasms – it’s about intimacy and connection.
When you are intimate with your partner, be it by having sex or just cuddling, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin.
This hormone is responsible for bonding, trust, fidelity, and mood elevation. It’s what makes you fall deeply in love with your partner.
A relationship that lacks any form of physical intimacy shows clear signs of an unhappy marriage.
3. Your partner is being replaced
Do you find you are slowly starting to replace your partner? Do you confide in others the way you used to confide in your partner? Or maybe you have started having an emotional affair with someone outside your relationship?
If you are pushing your partner away in favor of someone else, it’s a clear sign that you are unhappy in your marriage.
4. You’re always looking for a way out
Do you ever fantasize that you were someone else?
Or maybe you’re still yourself, but you’re living a different life far, far away from your spouse?
One of the biggest signs of an unhappy marriage is constantly looking for or daydreaming about a way out of your relationship.
Maybe you’ve dreamed about being romantic with someone else or have even gone as far as looking up apartments out of town? If so, these are some clear warning signs that you are in an unhappy relationship.
If you were in a happy marriage you would feel peaceful, content, and happy to be around your partner, but if they are causing you misery or making you feel like your worst self, you may find yourself wondering what it would be like to be far away from your current life.
5. The fights have stopped
If you say “I and my partner never fight!” You may think this is a good thing, but the truth is that silence is one of the biggest signs of an unhappy marriage.
For most couples, the thought of arguing is an exhausting sign that there are problems in the relationships, but when couples argue it’s actually a sign that they care about the relationship enough to debate over a matter.
Fights can lead to deep intimacy (make-up sex, anyone?) and boost trust between partners. Not to mention that when done right, fighting can boost a couple’s communication skills.
Couples who withdraw from one another are basically waving a white flag saying that they’ve given up on being happy together.
6. You never listen to each other
Listening is just as important as talking when it comes to the great wide world of communication. When you listen to your spouse, you show them that you respect their opinion and value what they say.
Here are the top signs that your communication is poor and you may be headed for a break-up.
- Partners frequently interrupt each other
- Never communicating thoughts or feelings
- Employ “the silent treatment” to get one’s way
- Disregard or minimize spouse’s thoughts and opinions
- Immediately get judgmental instead of choosing compassion
Communication and listening are both very important in a healthy marriage. If a couple has given up trying to express themselves to one another (about important and minute subject matters)
7. You’re always feeling bad about yourself
A healthy marriage should make you feel special. You should feel good about yourself. That’s not to say that great relationships should have you feeling on top of the moon every day, but if you were in a healthy relationship you wouldn’t constantly be thinking about how you feel. You would just be happy.
One of the biggest signs of an unhappy marriage is constantly feeling unworthy of your partner’s love, feeling belittled, or feeling like you don’t matter.
If your relationship shows one or more signs of an unhappy marriage listed above, we feel for you! It isn’t easy to be with someone who makes you feel miserable or unworthy. Seek marriage counseling to cope with the emotional problems in your relationship and remember that you should never stay in a toxic marriage if your partner isn’t willing to change.