When I am in a dark place, I turn to Louise Hay. Louise is the epitome of a creamy-smooth, mother/grandmother presence, especially in the audio versions of her work. If you feel like you are in a harsh environment, surrounded by harsh people, I highly recommend that you find her books and download her audio affirmations. You get instant Glenda the Good Witch to help you on your path to wholeness and a sense of improved wellbeing. And I use the Glenda reference as a high compliment!
At first, Louise’s work might seem too simplistic, too uncomfortable or too something-or-other. The reason it might seem this way is because the way we currently think and feel about life, our circumstances, people, etc.—especially when our personal circumstances feel negative—can seem very far away from the highly positive thoughts and feelings encouraged by Louise. This dissonance can feel disconcerting at first.
Also, remember Stuart Smalley? His SNL skits were funny because Al Franken is so funny. However I have to say that he probably makes Louise’s affirmation work seem a bit silly for people who watched the Smalley skits. Or, maybe not. But it’s so easy to hear his voice and see him looking in his bathroom mirror saying, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.”
It’s worth noting that Louise Hay’s career took off when, in the early phase of the AIDS outbreak in the U.S., she worked with the victims of the disease, a disease which seemed to strike the gay community most heavily. With her affirmations, she helped them through what was a horrific time. This is probably why Franken chose an effeminate character. But I digress. I just want to help those in my generation understand the backdrop for any ambient discomfort with looking at themselves in a mirror and saying out loud that they like themselves.
To help you get started with this kind of positive affirmation work, I will be a guinea pig and walk you through the process below. What we will do here is take typical negative thoughts and sentiments a person might have and turn them around to a positive affirmation:
Thought: I am fat.
Possible ways to spin this negative thought:
- I am healthy and strong.
- I am curvy and feminine.
- My body is perfect just the way it is.
- I am beautiful just the way I am.
Note: These may feel tough to buy into. It takes practice and there is often that tiny, mean voice somewhere inside that wants to say, “Yeah, right.” Tell that voice to leave you alone. You aren’t listening any more.
Thought: I will never be able to pull it all together.
Possible ways to turn this negative affirmation to a positive:
- I have pulled it together in the past so I have it in me to do it again.
- I can pull it all together.
- There is lots of evidence that I already have pulled it together even now if I stop to look at all the positive things I have done and am doing right at this moment.
Thought: I will never be happy again.
- I fully intend be happy again.
- I was happy just yesterday (last week, two years ago, 20 years ago on that one solitary day). This is evidence that I have what it takes to feel happy.
- Happiness is an internal state. It can be generated internally and I am in charge of whether or not I experience happiness. I choose to experience happiness and will do what it takes to generate that feeling inside of me.
Thought: Being a single, working mother is impossibly hard.
Note: This one is challenging to spin! I GET that, 100%. So let’s try to crack this baby in half somehow.
- I am a single, working mother. (Here, I am trying to remove the judgement from the original thought and simply make it neutral.)
- I am glad to be a mother. I love my children.
- I am glad I have an income.
- I am a loving mother.
- I can produce a flow of income.
- I share love with those around me.
- I am loving.
- I am prosperous. (I may not be where I would like to be financially, but I am prosperous to some degree. I choose to see my income for what it is: Money flowing in.)
Okay, so you see how this process works. Try it! If you bump into resistance within yourself to find a positive affirmation, then begin with neutral statements that remove the negative spin of the original thought. You may, at first, only have neutral statements. But begin to work off of those neutral statements and see if some of the neutral ones can produce more positive ones.
Good luck! And, feel better.
More from DivorcedMoms:
- Self Esteem
- 7 Simple Ways To Boost Your Self-Esteem After Divorce
- 5 Ways To Detox Your Negative Thoughts
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