I adore the guy I’m dating and I’m especially appreciative of our sexual relationship. I’m eight years older than him, like to experiment, communicate and am very open about sex.
Although he and I are great at communicating, when it comes to sex we always seem to get bogged down. He has a hard to expressing his needs and desires in this area of our relationship. I don’t know if it is due to his age and lack of maturity but, I find it frustrating…so frustrating! How do I get him to open up and feel comfortable about talking about sex?
You have two factors working against you here: His age and his anatomy. Men, unless they are extremely in touch with their feminine side, do not like to discuss feelings. They prefer action over words.
For him, there is absolutely nothing sexy about talking about sex. Men haven’t evolved much since being cavemen when it comes to sexual desires- he likes what feels good and he likes it with great frequency.
Now, this is when it becomes a bit of work for you. Not only are you concerned with your own state of arousal, in order to fully understand what your man desires sexually, you’ll need to experiment and see what gets his blood going. (literally)
I know you are thinking, “Wouldn’t it be easier to get him to TELL me what turns him on?”
Yes of course. It would also be easier to train him to put the toilet seat down every time too, but sometimes it’s just not that simple…
If everything else in your relationship is working well, don’t put too much emphasis on his lack of communication of specific desires. Men are simple- Feed them, make sure they have sex frequently, and most importantly, let them feel like men.
If you are doing all three, he’s happy.