My daughter Sydney is the bees knees and the wings. This is a fact. I love that she boycotts Hello Kitty for being a female character that does not have a mouth. I love that she is thirteen years old and knows every Counting Crows and Hall & Oates song at first pitch. I love that her emotional intelligence is off the charts. Of course, I could name 1,276 unique, additional things I love about her without blinking. As parents, we recite the memories with our children and as well, the characteristics. If we’re being wholly truthful, we could also cite some pet peeves or annoyances. It is the totality of all of these things that makes us both human and great.
Now I must pay homage to Mike Meyers and his Austin Powers franchise for bringing us horrid teeth, Dr. Evil and Mini-Me. The latter is not only an iconic character of modern cinema but also a nickname we bestow upon our little ones for all of our characteristics that they inherit. For Sydney and me, that list is both long and frightening. It’s as though I created a Frankenstein with all good intentions and without realizing that most of my traits would be inextricably bolted on. So what does that list look like? What of myself has my daughter mirrored?
1. Every Breathe You Take: In the relationship coaching sense, my daughter notices and comments on so many things that couples do (or don’t). She will notice the situation where the baby starts crying and the mother, by default, picks the baby up while the father just watches. She will notice one half of a couple that is walking five feet in front of (or behind) their other half. She comments on couples that sit and don’t communicate. And yes, she draws distinctions between comfortable and uncomfortable silence. Sydney loves to notice the couple that is playful and affectionate and still holds hands. And for all of these observations and others, my daughters feelings are on her sleeve. These are not just words to actions but instead reactions and reflections on where we are and where these behaviors are taking us in the world of coupledom.
2. Less Patience Than A Bad Doctor: Yep, we’re both in that club. Someone is in line to order in front of us and they are taking 17.3 seconds too long. Sydney sees the cars moving half a mile an hour when they’re really moving 45 miles per hour. We are watching ‘Scrubs’ and the two minutes of commercials feels like three days and she is pulling her hair out. The good news is, mine is already gone. It’s called premature balding but I digress. My impatience has absolutely rubbed off on my daughter and I slightly worry that said impatience will have her on top of a clock tower taking people out with a nine millimeter assault rifle when it’s all said and done. Zen-yoga-downward-dog-Ashtanga-Vinyasa-meditative state. Go!
3. ‘Poor Dog’ Syndrome: And in the land of good traits to inherit, Sydney feels bad for everyone and everything. Even inanimate objects I fear. I see this as (mostly) terrific as she reflects on the impact of her words and actions long before she leaps into them. My daughter will create a gant chart in her mind that connects feelings, words and actions to any and everyone that will be associated with them and move forward accordingly. She will also donate her kidney and left spine to Feed the Children of Whales if it means that there will be less sick and deprived souls in this world. Mostly good except that I have to sometimes remind her that she must take care of herself and put herself somewhere on the effort tree if she is to be able to continue taking care of others.
4. Circling Shark Syndrome: Have you ever met the person that just can’t sit still? Yep, that be me and my daughter. In a good way, she’s never lazy nor does she rest on hers and anyone else’s laurels. In a bad way, she never rests and no answer is ever the final answer since there’s always an improvement to the previous answer. Sometimes rest is good and it can be very important to take a breath and take it all in. Words of wisdom that can be hard for a shark to soak up, regardless of how much water surrounds it.
Writing this was nice because I love my daughter and the things we have in common. What’s more, she recognizes these similarities and will comment often when I joke with her.
“Sydney, you think you could sit still for five minutes?”
“Dad, I am black kettle. Care to guess who the pot is?
Touche’ and bravo. Let’s all salute our children for their unique and shared characteristics and let’s remember that while we may have lessons for them to learn and posts to guide them towards, we are often the reflection in their mirror.
More from DivorcedMoms.com
- 10 Things All Divorcing Parents Should Say To Their Children
- Kids Know An Assclown When They See One
- Is It Possible To Raise Kids With Old Time Values In A Modern World?
- Things To Tell My Children