“There’s a little bit of magic in every box!”
― Adam Rex, Cold Cereal
Not too long ago, a man I met on Match.com, accused me of being a “serial dater”. At first, I was taken aback, slightly offended this stranger had such a strong negative opinion of my dating choices. He was hesitant on taking me on a date, looking down on the fact that I was open to dating different men simultaneously. Apparently, he felt it was unfair of me to date more than one person at a time. By juggling several dates, he did not see how I could give a guy a fair shot.
Unapologetically, I explained he shouldn’t date me because we differ on our philosophies. One coffee date does not constitute commitment. As far as I am I concerned, putting all your eggs in one basket during the early stages of dating may not be the wisest decision. Do you really know someone after one date?
Serial dater? Please. Life is not a Nicholas Sparks movie, where I know in just one look that I have found “The One”. It takes time. Nor will I rush. I have met many men and women who are so in love with the idea of love, they dive right into a relationship, marriage or remarriage. Watching women get engaged before the ink dries on their divorce decrees or discovering a date from three weeks ago announce on Facebook he proposed to a girl the other day. Good on them, not for me.
Men have asked me to go exclusive after a few dates and it is a huge red flag for me. What’s up with all the fast tracking. Love is not a race. It should happen organically. Call me crazy, but slow down folks! I suppose when you meet the right person, you will just know. Still there is nothing wrong with taking time to get to know your Mr. Right. Let the dopamine dilute a little bit in your brain before you run off to Vegas to elope.
At the end of the day, we can all agree to disagree. You will know it when it is right. Here is my philosophy, dating is like taking a stroll down the cereal aisle. Take your time. Try all the different cereals. Men and/or Women (my dating advice can apply to both sexes), are like cereal boxes. We are surrounded by such a vast selection, varying in their packaging, tastes, costs, etc.
Dating is Like Choosing a Box of Cereal
As a “cereal” … ahem serial dater, I can honestly say I have tried them all! How else will I figure out what I really want? Guess what? NOW I know what I want. I didn’t always and that is a fact jack.
Unfortunately, I have met a few “Fruit Loops”. Really colorful and fun men, whom are bat$%^ crazy! A price you pay as a single gal in search of love. Ya’ll remember Ninja Serial Killer Guy from my OKCupid, right? What man thinks a woman will write him if he is wearing a ninja mask, while holding a huge knife and a roll of duct tape?! Even the normal ones can be fruitier. Who could forget the Naval Officer but Not a Gentleman, who wanted to wear a French Maid costume and man stilettos while I lassoed him in a Wonder Woman costume. Maybe that is more of a “Cookoo for Coco Puffs” category. Dating can be hilarious and scary!
Next, meet “Frosted Flakes”fella, he seems like a GR-R-R-EAT guy, until he is constantly flaking on you. You will find yourself not hearing from Tony the Tiger for weeks, then he will hit you up with a text. You’re tricked into going out with him again, because his flakiness is covered in his addictive sugary sweetness. After filling up on this oldie but goodie, he flakes again because he has no idea what he wants. To the defense of the men folk, there are plenty of flaky women out there in the dating world as well.
He’s Not All That GR-R-REAT!
We all have a favorite cereal, right? Well, let me introduce you to mine. I am seduced by colorful fun packaging, loaded with sugar type of men. Usually he comes with some cool toy inside! Hooked I tell you! He is the hot guy who is kind of a douche bag of cereals. While “Kids Cereal Guy” is fun, playful, has an eye-catching package and tastes AMAZING, deep down I know he is no good for me. Eventually, I crash from my sugar rush and I am left feeling like junk.
Hot Guy Cereal
Sometimes, I give the store brand of “Shredded Wheat” guy a try. There is nothing flashy about his packaging, he’s probably a healthier option but I get bored quickly. A date with this man might resemble you on a Sushi dinner, yawning in your mouth and praying you do not fall asleep in your Sake. Bland, boring and not your type. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…….
Beware of Boring Cereal Man
I have come to the conclusion, I should find a balance in the characteristics of whom I want to date. Enter “Healthy Yet Yummy” guy. We have the same chemistry I share with “Fun Cereal Guy” minus all the additives, plus he would be a healthier choice for me. I would equate him to the Kashi or Whole Foods cereal of the dating world. Great outside appeal, kinda crunchy granola, throw in some berries for sweetness and he still tastes great and is good for me.
Searching for the Kashi of Men
While each kind of guy has their appeal, there is one that is just right for me. Taking a long stroll down the cereal aisle, figuring out exactly what I want has been a fun and eye-opening experience. Why not put down your safety cereal (Peanut Butter Cap’N crunch for me) and have your own taste testing of something new. You might be surprised!!!You know what is funny? I don’t even eat cereal since I started Paleo five months ago. LOL. Not sure how to compare men to Bacon or Kale yet, so cereal was my best analogy!