It takes different skills to successfully open, manage and close a divorce process so you can preserve your life after your divorce.
If you find yourself entering the divorce process, the last thing you want to experience is a divorce process that goes on and on. Yet, we’ve all heard stories where this happens all too often. If someone is not paid to close your divorce process, unfortunately just like everything else in life, it costs you time, money and stress.
Divorce processes that languish can have a significant impact on you and your family. Unwanted memories can be created that you will talk about for years to come. Frankly, no one needs these extra mental stressors. These stressors can be minimized, if not avoided. Yet, to reach an agreed upon settlement and close your process as soon as possible is easier said than done. The key is to choose the right process and the right types of professionals for your divorce process.
Below we’ve outlined some examples of what happens when your divorce process remains open longer than necessary.
3 Unwanted Outcomes that Arise With a Never Ending Divorce
While it may seem like the worst has already happened in your life, you still have to go through a process to bring your divorce to a close. It takes continued communication and a concerted effort by both parties to make it happen. When your divorce process remains open without a clear vision of when the closing will occur it becomes difficult to switch your mind off and rest. You are always under stress.
When you wake up in the middle of the night or can’t fall asleep, you are thinking about your divorce and how to best manage it. You put more time and energy into your divorce process when you need to be sleeping and recuperating to have the energy for tomorrow.
As you think about the issues, you try to reconcile what is going on at the present moment. You also question why things are not working out the way you expected. You may even question how you can ‘right size’ the process so you can move toward a closing. All you want to do is find a way to make this process come to an end. This is a common theme we hear from many people.
Other things happen when you don’t get enough sleep. Your decision making is compromised at work, at home, and for your divorce process too. These mistakes start to mount and cause a lot of pain that you may have to live with for the rest of your life.
You can avoid these issues by having a personal financial advocate help you manage your divorce process and your changing negotiating position. A personal financial advocate is always on the lookout for opportunities to close your process.
Mounting Stress With your Children
In America, statistics show the divorce rate is upwards of 50%. Many times this can translate into the children experiencing a painful divorce too. Yet this does not mean your children have to be one of those statistics. This commonly arises when you involuntarily share your stresses with your children. Your stress can manifest in the form of silence, isolation, lack of patience, yelling or a myriad of other ways. Your children interpret it as “this is not the same person that I knew”. As a result, they get confused and hurt which can impact your relationships.
If you took a step back you might realize that the source of the stress comes from the type of process you employed for your divorce. If you were doing this type of work professionally long enough you would realize the process was broken and things can be done differently to manage your outcomes.
A well-managed process can result in a less contentious divorce. A less contentious divorce leads to healthier relationships with your children too. Children lead more peaceful lives. They bounce back faster. Grades don’t suffer as much. Interpersonal relationships are more easily formed and maintained. Life returns to normal faster.
Less Money in Your Pocket
When divorces remain open, you leave the opportunity for the opposing party to negotiate further. You continue to go back and forth with the other side. This is never good for anyone. It is important to have a strong negotiating position going into any discussion to limit the back and forth so you can optimize your outcomes.
Things can be done differently if you simply keep quality in your process.
What should you do to manage your risks?
If you are entering a divorce process it would be wise to understand which skills you need on your team and determine where the process gaps exist.
It takes a village to raise children. It takes different skills to successfully open, manage and close a divorce process so you can preserve your life after your divorce.