Keeping marital possessions is another way to stay attached to your ex-spouse. I did a clean sweep of wedding gifts once we divided up personal property. I no longer required the magnitude of crockery and serving platters since extravagant business dinners were a thing of the past. I took the wedding china and crystal to a local company that sold them online for a percentage. While I was at it, I gave them my wedding ring for good measure. Next came the crystal bought with our wedding cash while honeymooning in the Caribbean. I started to feel liberated deleting possessions from a closed chapter in my life.
Seeing the decorative item your ex gave you one anniversary still evokes memories from happier times.
Sell it and use the cash for something that has meaning in your new life. My sons and I took a cruise with the proceeds from garage sales, online and consignment shop money. We bought a few hand painted tiles in Tunisia which replaced unwanted décor already gone. Two weeks ago, my divorced pal and I had massive garage sales to fund our European river cruise. I’d much rather tramp around Germany next month then dust the knickknacks and furniture which just sold. The key is replacing objects holding the attachment and memories of your ex, with something simpler from this new phase in life.
If having cold feet about getting rid of marital goods, then box them up and put into storage. See if you miss any of them or not. When they have been out of sight for several months, go through these possessions to donate or sell. When pricing items at a yard sale be realistic since buyers do not have the same emotional attachment that you do. I put extra low prices on stuff that I did not want to see again. Let your friends know about pieces you want to sell because word-of mouth is effective. One sent her neighbor to my house and she bought furniture before my move to a smaller place.
Clothing can elicit memories from the past. The lovely dress you wore on your honeymoon strolling hand-in hand with your new husband has to go. I took some nice shirts on a business trip to Kenya that my ex had given me through the years. After I wore them, I gave them to an orphanage and these were much appreciated. Consignment shops are a great place to take more upscale clothes that contain too many memories or clutter up your closet.
Consider purging your closet of gifts from your married life. I was given too many linens, including guest towels and a plethora of holiday tablecloths. Did not realize how much I had accumulated over the years and how much lighter I now feel since most clutter is gone. My house looks so much larger and what is left are signature pieces, which had been lost in the crowd of stuff.
What helped me was to do one item or section at a time. I looked at all of my towels and picked a few sets to keep, since I rarely have a houseguest. In my kitchen, I went shelf by shelf or drawer by drawer and eliminated what could be sold. I removed items that were gifts from people who were not supportive during my divorce or sided with my ex. What is left is a joy to look at and beautifies my home. I have room for presents from folks that I truly love.
I learned that I do not need so many items from a trip to savor its memory. Photographs replace objects. I have less money now and only spend it on something stunning. We do not need more stuff, but rather experiences, family time together and new adventures.
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