“Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”
George Bernard Shaw
Let’s just get right into. Tonight, we are going to talk about sex or the lack of sex in my life. It has only been 5 months, since I last did the dirty deed, but feels like centuries. Blame it on my mid thirties hormones or my manbatical, but I feel like the damn wolf man on a full moon. My libido wants to run wild into the night.
Seriously, is this how men feel all the time, with their extra surges of testosterone, flowing their veins, every day? I cannot stop thinking about it all day long. Truth be told, I am not sure, how much longer I can hold out.
You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me
Contrary to what many believe in society, women think about sex just as much as men do. Yet, for some backwards reason, women don’t always speak as openly about it, as our male counterparts do. Well, at least, in my inner circle of girlfriends, we are pretty honest about our sexuality.
Why just today, a girlfriend shared, how her fella who is deployed, surprised her with sex toys, to keep her satisfied. Now THAT is my type of man right there! He is making sure her needs are being met and both were able to creatively share the moment together, despite thousands of miles of between them during their tempoary separation. Good for them!
Sex Toys For Long Distance Couples
Even us “good girls” need to be “bad” and have a release for our sexual frustrations. I hate using the word “bad girl” because it carries such a negative connotation. There is nothing bad about sex, it is wonderful, exciting, beautiful and fun.
What do you do when you don’t have a partner and you don’t want to sleep around? How do you handle your carnal urges, when a battery operated toy just won’t do the trick? Sorry, but my Rabbit, can only do so much. It doesn’t replace the weight of a man on top of me or look me in the eyes while kissing me. What’s a girl to do when she needs a connection and intimacy, but there is no one in sight?
Even Good Girls Need To Be Bad
Everywhere I turn, my frustrations are met by hot men everywhere, whether it is my sex on a stick hot neighbors, Mr. CrossFit and his army of other hot shirtless men WODing, cute military men runners on my route or the cutie having eye sex with me in Whole Foods.
I Live In Hot Neighbor Central
God Bless Hawaii Being Hot Year Round
Whole Foods Eye Sex In The Produce Section
You know what I think about my sexual frustrations and being single? I think THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT! When people share with me that they have not have sex in years, my mind is blown, because I am about to lose my marbles.
This Is Some Bullshit!
Some of you may be thinking I am being too TMI (Too Much Information), but I know I am not the only woman thinking about this. I just want to be completely honest with my experience as a single girl and paint you an accurate picture of what life is really like as a divorced single mom.
Secretly, you know you love it when the topic turns to sex. We are hard wired to want it and here is my opportunity to start a healthy dialogue on sex.
Let’s stop being uptight and talk about it like grown ups. Let’s talk about sex baby.
Don’t Be So Surprised
So here it is, GOD, I miss sex so much, that I actually had a sex dream last night. Clearly my desires are seeping into my slumber.
Last night, the sleep gods sent me a gift, in the form of the best sex dream ever. It was vivid, from beginning to end, leaving me wanting the real deal. It was sexy, hot, rip your clothes off them, back scratching, passionate, naughty, sweaty exploration, up against walls, lost in hedonistic friction and forgetting that anything else exists kind of sex.
I Had The Best Dream EVER
Here is my PG version of my dream, told in a series of GIFs. Time to turn my dreams into reality, because I don’t think I could take much more of this. Maybe it is time to end the manbatical and get back into the world of dating. Otherwise, the only action I will be seeing, is in a Nicholas Sparks movie or HBO.
Until, I meet my future, sexy play time partner, I will continue to deal with my sexual frustrations, as best as I know how. Earlier this evening, I decided to go for a nice long run in the rain, to let off some steam. Not only does exercise give you an adrenalin rush, but it releases endorphines, which leaves you feeling happy.
It doesn’t replace a bedroom workout, but it will have to do for now. Hurry up Mr. Sexy. We have lots of catching up to do.
Dammit, I Will Just Go For Run
Let’s Talk About Sex Baby
What is the longest you have gone without doing the deed?