Oh, the pleasures of single motherhood.
Got email notification the other day from Kiddo’s school that another bout of Norovirus has hit the school this year. I was hoping Kiddo would not get again since he is only there three days a week. The amount of t-shirts I have in the wash at the moment is clearly a sign that we were not so lucky.
The sight and smell of last night’s dinner is just too exciting not to share. I cannot watch people vomiting without feeling the need to join in, but when it is your child all that crap is forgotten and you wish you could take it all away. This virus is one that keeps giving. I just cannot wait till it hits me and I have to take care of kiddo by myself while spending quality time in the bathroom.
To toot my own horn, I know I can do, but this sh*t pisses me off.
I had kidney stones while pregnant. My body is a ripe environment for kidney stones, throw in pregnancy hormones and they grow like weeds. At nine weeks, I was in hospital in terrible pain. Pap was in India at the time. Have you had kidney stones, while pregnant and alone? It’s the kind of pain I would wish on the Skank.
I did not want pain medication. Hell, first trimester, you are not effing up my unborn child. The stones were blocking the pipes and I was getting prepped so they could put in a stint. I was delirious with pain. I go in for one last x-ray so they know where exactly the bitches are and they moved and were no longer stuck. Thank you, no surgery needed.
The stones passed a few days later. My grandmother literally died at the same time I passed them. She was so happy I finally was pregnant.
Fast forward to after Kiddo is born. My body had created more stones during the pregnancy. But now that Kiddo was out I could get some underwater shockwave treatment or something to break the suckers up and thus making it easier to pass them. Yet, my blood pressure was now too high and that procedure had to be rescheduled.
When my family was still a family, I started having pains in my side again. I thought kidney stones, but not sure. Not like I had given birth before and knew what my body was doing half the time. Of course I did not listen to Pap and did not go to the hospital. In between, the slap your momma pain, I breast fed my son. The Kiddo was a little freaked out by how I was acting. He started to cry. I’m on floor in a ball. Pap is holding Kiddo. Kiddo crying kicks in this mother, protective instinct and I tell Pap let me feed him. I fed Kiddo in bed while a kidney stone is moving through my body.
I am thankful this happened. It was a foreshadowing to my current life. I will be and have been in some serious pain, physical and mental, but through it all, I know I can put all that sh*t out of my mind and take care of my son, alone.
I do not want to do this crap alone. I wanted a spouse that would be there and step up when I was sleepy, tired or sick. But reality is I got a weak ass man who left his family when the sh*t got hard and fell in love with some Skank ass, whore, bitch co-worker. In the end, he did not honor his vows, his commitment to wife and family and the first Jezebel that tempted his weak mind he fell for, hook, line and sinker.
I was up most of the night with Kiddo. This is just one of many more times when I will be up most of the night, alone, with my son. I am not mad at Kiddo for leaving pieces of undigested corn on the bed spread. I am furious at his father for making me do it alone. (Tears) It is not Kiddo’s fault his father has a character flaw and does not understand fidelity and communication. Why does he have to suffer when he is already not feeling well? Kiddo deserves to have both parents here showing him love taking turns taking care of him.
I should not have to do this alone…and for this I am furious!!!
Oh, still have kidney stones in my body. Don’t have to worry about pregnancy hormones anymore mutating them to enormous size. Doctor says chances are I will never pass them. They are much like the pain of a divorce. They will be there forever, never truly forgotten, just a fact of life now.