It’s time for you to have the greatest love affair of all…with yourself!
That advice was given to me by a friend shortly after my second divorce and I have lived by it ever since.
After two failed marriages, I know first-hand the challenges of being a single mom. I know what it feels like to give everything you have to your children, your family and friends, and your profession.
Sometimes you are left with little more than emotional and physical exhaustion and then you feel as though you are not much good to anyone. Let’s face it, whether you are a single mom, or any mom for that matter, it is easy to work so hard taking care of everyone else that we neglect our most important asset – us!
The best thing you can do is to take care of YOU first – give yourself some self-love. Need some ideas on how to have a love affair with yourself? Here are 10 things any mom, especially a single mom can do for herself.
1. Become Your Own Best Friend: What role does your best friend play in your life? They probably insist on doing things with that you love to do. Your best friend would definitely make sure you found joy in your daily life. So, if you are your own best friend, what would you do for yourself?
2. Connect With Yourself: There is nothing better for the soul than spending some time alone to stop, think and evaluate where your life is and where you are going.
3. Disconnect: Put your phone down! Pick one day a week to put your phone away and be present in the moment. If you cannot do an entire day, then try this; put your phone out of sight when you are in the bathroom, eating meals or conversing with your children.
4. Make Me Time: Me time is time spent at the gym, getting your nails done, or listening to an inspirational talk. Me Time is spent doing something that feels good for YOU! Think about joining a MeetUp group – maybe it’s time to start a new hobby? Think about Me Time.
5. Treat Yourself: Buy yourself a piece of jewelry, some perfume, or whatever you want. Often, when we have an extra dollar to spend, our first reaction is to spend it on our children. But we need to remember it’s OK to spend it on us. As a single mom, I make sure I buy myself flowers for me. I love seeing fresh flowers in the house. It’s such a special treat for me.
6. Never Forget to Celebrate YOU: It’s critical to remember to celebrate you! We all need to remember that self-love is the best love of all and we should all be celebrated! Host a birthday dinner or gathering just for you. Why not? We plan events for other people we love – why not plan a party celebrating YOU?
7. Surround yourself with good people: Begin to examine and take note of the personality traits of the people in your life. Ask yourself; do I surround myself with individuals who love and support me as my truest self? Take time to look at the relationships in your life and evaluate them to be sure they are serving you well.
8. Be grateful for your loved ones: Make a list of anyone who helps you feel better about being you. Then, create time in your calendar to spend with them. Meet them for coffee on a Sunday, or take a walk with a friend. It sounds simple and it is, but sometimes making a grateful list is a good way to remind us about how lucky we are and not to take anyone for granted in our busy lives.
9. Dream, imagine and sleep: Give yourself permission to dream and sleep more! Close your eyes every night before you go to bed and picture who you want to be. Picture every piece of your life; your health, your looks, career, relationships, everything. It’s true, we become what we think about good, bad and ugly. So take time to really think about what the best life would be for you. And then get plenty of sleep!
10. Journal: Buy yourself a blank journal and start writing today. Write how you feel. Do you feel energized? Relaxed? Eager? Steady? Confident? Journaling is a great exercise to help see how far you have come. Sometimes as I read through my old journal entries, I find myself laughing out loud at me. Oh yes, it’s critical to maintain a really good sense of humor about life!
So, to all you single moms out there, remember this; not only is it okay to take time for you – it’s a must. We must refuel our mind, body and spirit. Before we were a mom, we were us – and we must take time and care of us!
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