After my divorce, I was like a little, spotted deer wandering around all alone in the forest of dating; I had no clue what to expect and probably appeared confused and bewildered.
Naturally as a divorced parent, we are busy, so it can be challenging to meet new people outside our busy schedules and children’s extracurricular activities. So, where do we go?
I was hesitant in the beginning but decided to try online dating. It wasn’t too long ago that online dating had a negative stigma, where ax murderers and predators are known to stalk their prey. But now in our busy lives, it has become the norm to meet other people this way, and not all carry duct tape and rope around to snatch up their next victim.
When I asked my friends what site to try, many told me to steer clear from Tinder, as it is known to be a “hookup site”. So, in the beginning, I heeded their advice and tried other popular sites like Match and EHarmony. I chatted with many people and did go on some dates, some good and some bad, but did not click with anyone enough to lead into a relationship. So, out of curiosity and boredom, I decided to download the Tinder app to see what is all about.
From my experiences here is what I found out:
5 Tinder Pros:
1. Easy to use! All you have to do is download the app. However, you must have a Facebook account as it is linked to your profile.
2. Since the app is linked to your Facebook, you are able to see if you and your potential match have mutual friends.
3. No tedious questionnaire. You can add as much or as little information as you prefer.
4. The location feature allows you to view profiles of people who are nearby.
5. Swiping feature. All you have to do is use that incredible index finger of yours to swipe a potential date’s pic either left to say no way or right to say yes please! You will only be able to strike up a conversation with those who also swipe right to your photo. They call that a “match”!
5 Tinder Cons:
1. You do encounter a lot of hookup requests. But that is with every dating site out there, unfortunately. If you are just looking for sex, then you are all set. Get ready for threesome inquiries, corny pickup lines and bizarre messages. Yes, they are out there.
2. The app is like a modern version of “hot or not”. Many people match based on physical attraction since many of the profiles do not provide a lot of specific details.
3. The app has been known to have “bots” so you may be talking to someone who does not exist. Bummer.
4. The location feature will display profiles of anyone in your vicinity, which means if they are just passing through they will appear in your search.
5. The app is not designed for you to find your “soul mate” if that is what you are searching for. It is for casual dating and, like my friends mentioned, the occasional hookup. However, with that said, I have friends who met on Tinder and their relationship has blossomed into a serious relationship. I also met an incredible man on the app so it is possible!
For the divorced woman and man, the Tinder app can be a good way to help slowly get you back into dating. But with any online dating site, just be careful! If something does not feel right about the situation, trust your gut. And have fun! Tinder is a casual way to meet other people. Find out what you like, what you don’t, and enjoy the overall experience.
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