“A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run – sit still and ignore him and he’ll come purring at your feet.”
– Helen Rowland
About twenty years ago, as I was first entering the world of boys and dating, my Papa Pick passed on a bit of fatherly advice to me and my sisters. “Girls do not chase boys.” I don’t know about my sisters, but stubbornly I dismissed him. Convincing myself he had it all wrong. What does he know? Men chasing women is antiquated. Times have changed. 1950s Malt Shop, Sock Hop dating advice is so outdated.
Turns out, my father was onto something simple, brilliant and spot on. It’s just taken me about two decades of learning the hard way, Papa was right all along. Better late than never. If you are reading this now, Dad, thank you for setting me straight. Now I will share it with all the other single girls out there mystified about men.
Four words pretty ladies. Let.Him.Pursue. You. Repeat after me: Let him pursue you. That is all you need to know. How could it be this simple? As women, sometimes can overanalyze and talk it over with our girlfriends until the cows come home.
At the end of the day, you will never understand why Cute Billy from your amazing Match.com date promised to call, yet you never heard from him again. Stop checking your cell phone, waiting for his texts. For the love of God, do not Facebook stalk him. Quit looping in your head every exchange you had with this man, searching for a clue of what might have gone wrong. Move on. I am 100% he has already.
Why waste your time and energy on such an uncertainty? Who knows what happened? Who cares? Certainly, not you pretty ladies! Be grateful that you are one step closer to finding a partner who knows for sure that you are the one for them.
There are 3 types of men out there:
1) the one who doesn’t know you
2) the one who knows you and doesn’t pursue you
3) the one who knows you and DOES pursue you
You must only concern yourself with number 3. The man who knows you and DOES pursue. When I say pursue, I am not talking about a drunken text at 2 o’clock in the morning. He actively pursues you, meaning: he texts you, calls you, wants to spend time with you, and closes the deal with a date. You are a gem and he is not going to give that up.
I promise you. This will save you from frustration, confusion, heartache, and time wasters. Following this guideline will filter out the boys who just want to play with your heart and the men who want to care for your heart.
How do I know this? You see. My past has been ridden with relationships where I took the role of pursuing. All aspects of my life, going after what I want, has never been an issue. I am assertive and persistent. Unfortunately, I have not been so successful this area and my former ways were getting me nowhere. Realizing, I should have listened to my father all along.
you When do the sole pursuing, you are left feeling disappointed, frustrated and heartbroken. Over the past week, my texts and Sweet Cicily inbox has been flooded with advice from single girls asking for dating advice. To test out my theory, I asked three girlfriends, living in different cities, to give this a shot. Sit back. Get on with your busy and fun life.
You are one IN a million. The guy you are currently dating just might be one OUT of a million. Hold out for the one who pursues you, he will be worth it!
Not too long ago I was watching an interview with the author of the Harry Potter books, J.K Rowling. She said something about the time before she was a successful and best-selling writer. Apparently, her book was floating around the publishing world. One company was on the fence and really unsure about her. She was frustrated and at her very low. Eventually, another company was absolutely sure they wanted to publish her book. All of a sudden the other company wanted her back. She knew she wanted to go with the publishers that absolutely wanted her!
That is how I feel. No time for wishy-washy. You should hold out for the one who KNOWS they want to be with you and will make it happen.
Finding a man should not be your life quest. Don’t worry, love will eventually find you. It always does. If a man is seriously interested, he will come around. If he does not, then you have your answer. I am very excited to report, so far, two of the women are now moving forward with the men.
The bottom line, if a man is interested in pursuing you, there is nothing going to stop him. You will never have to question if he is just not interested in you if he has made his intentions clear with his actions. A man who knows what he wants will make sure he gets what he wants. Whether it has anything to do with how men are wired to hunt, I don’t know, but there is definitely something very appealing and intoxicating about the thrill of the chase…
Let me see, the guy gets to “KNOW” that he wants to be with her, but she is not supposed to do anything. Do women really go for such a double standard?
Appealing, intoxicating and thrilling to chase women down the street? I think that these entitled women are starting to see that there is NOTHING wonderful about a “hunt” and a “chase”, just that WOMEN do not want to be rejected.
Utter BS in my opinion. A guy with integrity & a modicum of self respect will show interest, but hounding a women is a different story.
There are men who don’t want to waste their time with someone who won’t give them time of the day and wouldn’t want their feelings hurt either. Women aren’t the only species with trust issues, you know!
Those with some degree of knowledge of self know that it’s a two way street. Mutual intentions, mutual feelings, mutual understanding, mutual COMMUNICATION is the recipe for a well-balanced relationship. Nothing perfect, but genuinely love & transparency cast out all these fears.
Curved intentions = crooked results!
If you start off with a power struggle, you risk the chance of a Rocky relationship. It usually ends the same it begins.
When I notice women running this child-like and insecure game of cat & mouse, I let them win the trophy of “ Nobody can catch me”. Congrats remain this overly frustrated and overly arrogant and paranoid mom that was too blind to distinguish between good men and the dogs that continue to hound.
Does it make a difference if you make wait 6 months chasing you. If he has intentions, they aren’t going to change because you made him run a few extra laps.
So cat & mouse ultimately is just a game that can deter a gentleman, mature man with self-respect, or can deter a licentious beast man who was looking for a quick-fix.
Things aren’t always as they seem. Some couples may pan out longer with this technique. However, let’s not misconstrue the fact the same formula cannot be applied on every guy. There are anomalies out there.
TRULY YOURS…..
Mr.A
Jedi, I just reread this article. Nowhere does it mention a need to be “hounded” by a man or forcing a man to hound her. It also doesn’t mention not giving a man the time of day. I can’t help but wonder how you misconstrued the article in such a manner. You make it sound like this writer expects men to be lap dogs. Too funny! You’ve had a few bad experiences with women who weren’t interested in spite of your pursuit, am I right? I also don’t believe in playing games. If I’m interested in a man, I let him know. If he is interested in me, he will let me know via actions and communication. If that happens, it’s game on. I’m not going to withhold my feelings from someone I care about who reciprocates those feelings. What you’re failing to understand is, both men and women play these games. And, for the life of me, I’m not going to get all bent out of shape over what other people do.